Favorite films

  • Midsommar
  • National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
  • The Princess Bride
  • The Empire Strikes Back

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  • Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II

    ★★★½

  • Wizards of the Lost Kingdom

    ★★★★½

  • Ebirah, Horror of the Deep

    ★★★★

  • Yongary, Monster from the Deep

    ★★

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  • Bad Taste

    Bad Taste

    ★★★★½

    "Shut up, codpiece face."

    Bad Taste is a joyful, exuberant romp and a genuinely great B movie. The dialogue is alternately sharp and intentionally, delightfully dumb. The gore is fantastic. It's exactly what it sets out to be.

    Derek (Peter Jackson), AIDS agent:
    ✓ convinces an alien he's shooting him by making gun noises
    ✓ makes gun noises while actually shooting him
    ✓ blasts a huge hole in the alien's stomach
    ✓ sticks his Uzi through it
    ✓ blows away…

  • Aguirre, the Wrath of God

    Aguirre, the Wrath of God

    ★★★★½

    Aguirre is incredible. I knew I was going to love it from the opening shot, which is itself incredible: vertiginous mountains, fog, haunting score, strangers in a strange land.

    This is the story of a doomed, futile exercise of hubris in pursuit of a lie, which ultimately serves only to produce misery. Among the many metaphors that drive this home, my favorite is the sedan chairs: You know who brings sedan chairs into the Andes? People who have no idea…

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  • Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II

    Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II

    ★★★½

    "They're not so much sword fighting as high-fiving with swords." -- From the MST3K episode

    On the whole, Wizards II doesn't hit the high bar set by the trippy, balls-out crappiness of the first movie.

    Wikipedia notes that, like the first film, Wizards II includes stock footage from cheeseball classics like Deathstalker -- and from the first movie, the only tenuous connection it has to the original. I'd swear they recycled some of the exact same footage, too.

    It feels…

  • Wizards of the Lost Kingdom

    Wizards of the Lost Kingdom

    ★★★★½

    "It's like Lord of the Rings without all the fancy good stuff." -- From the MST3K episode

    Cheese doesn't get much more glorious than this. It wants to be a cross between Willow and Labyrinth, but it winds up just tripping balls.

    I feel bad for the art department for this movie. "Here's $17, build me a castle set" is how you get ferns spray-painted silver and passed off as sculptures (MST3K: "This whole place smells like Krylon"), and giant,…

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  • Tropic Thunder

    Tropic Thunder

    ★★★★½

    "I'm a dude playing a dude, disguised as another dude!"

    Ten years and a few viewings on, I love this movie.

    It's in that same dumb-funny space as Zoolander, Dodgeball, Anchorman, and Step Brothers, and that space is my jam. The only element that has never worked for me, and which hasn't aged well at all, is the shitty, R-word filled Simple Jack running joke. Excise that, and you've got a damned funny action movie parody slash Hollywood satire.

    The…

  • Infra Red Fred

    Infra Red Fred

    ★★½

    This early Edgar Wright short is like Click, but as a Vine, many years before either of those things existed.