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  • Robin Hood

    Robin Hood

    ½

    Ugly, garish, anachronistic like a small mean child playing with matches, and completely lacking in anything Robin Hood–y: there’s no fun, no romance, no virtue. Instead? Bizarre “aesthetics” and even worse politics.

    More at FlickFilosopher.com.

    [half a star only because Letterboxd doesn’t allow zero stars]

  • Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    ½

    It certainly is MORE than the first movie: more incoherent, more confused about who its protagonist is, more crammed with contrivance and coincidence. Even the title is more nonsensical this time.

    More at FlickFilosopher.com.

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  • Fifty Shades of Grey

    Fifty Shades of Grey

    ½

    A charm-free hero with control issues and a passive, fretful heroine have coy and tediously vanilla pretend-sex. This is meant to be erotic?

    More at FlickFilosopher.com.

  • The Gift

    The Gift

    Descends into emotional idiocy and insufficient intrigue to end in a disgusting place that presumes that a woman is an appropriate pawn in games men play.

    More at FlickFilosopher.com.