• Barbie

    Barbie

    ★★★★★

    Greta Gerwig is the mastermind who called Barbie a fascist in her own movie

  • Elemental

    Elemental

    There were elements of it that were pretty good.

  • Avatar: The Way of Water

    Avatar: The Way of Water

    Four times in this film some kids decide they have to go save other captured kids and comes out the other side with a different set of kids now captured.

  • The Usual Suspects

    The Usual Suspects

    ★★★★

    Spent the entire second half of this movie thinking "Where have I heard of Keyser Size before??

  • Z-O-M-B-I-E-S 3

    Z-O-M-B-I-E-S 3

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I watched all three of these goddamn movies (and the animated shorts!) in a row for my sick 3yo niece so they're all getting reviewed as one thing here.

    Clearly this is this generation's High School Musical. And I mean that as a compliment. In a world of Disney Channel Originals, the production quality, choreography, and charisma does stand out. Not sure why ours was just about basketball and country clubs and the new thing is ZOMBIES, but somehow I'm…

  • Strange World

    Strange World

    ★★★½

    Honestly, the whole thing would have been nearly perfect if they had just cut the entire family relationship storyline. Can't we just have a cool story about explorers and farmers and man's relationship with the environment without a dad commiting the same sins his dad committed?

  • Glass Onion

    Glass Onion

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    You had me at "Dead Mens' Rights Advocate".

  • Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile

    Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile

    At no point in this film was I not fully, painfully aware that there was a big CGI crocodile on the screen. Disbelief could not be suspended. It's muteness only made it all the more jarring when it began singing.

  • The Banshees of Inisherin

    The Banshees of Inisherin

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    You ever lost your miniature donkey because it tried to eat your ex-best-friend's bloody middle finger? This movie might be for you.

  • Bros

    Bros

    The Lincoln Exhibit WAS bi erasure.

  • Don Jon

    Don Jon

    ★★★½

    I've got so many good one-liners for this review I'm going to write them all, here we go:

    I too would like to know how the Catholic Church calculates the Hail Marys.

    Give Brie Larson the Oscar!

    Unlike porn, real pussy will kill you.

    Really all that Jon needed the whole time was to be on bottom.

    JGL actually rote a part for himself where he jacked off too much.

  • Lightyear

    Lightyear

    ★★★½

    Everyone on Letterboxd has the same terrible joke