• A History of Violence

    A History of Violence

    "How do you fuck that up?" indeed. Good first hour but really falls apart at the third act.

  • Spiderhead

    Spiderhead

    ★★

    Netflix's second dumb Black Mirror movie I've seen this year. Also the second Joseph Kosinski movie from 2022 that I'm gonna forget after a couple of days.

  • The Black Phone

    The Black Phone

    ★★½

    Worst escape room ever.

    + 0.5 star for one of the most amazingly dumb one-liners ever put on film.

  • The Bubble

    The Bubble

    ½

    It's like it was actively trying to be unfunny at every possible chance.

  • On the Count of Three

    On the Count of Three

    ★★½

    The leadin pair have good chemistry, but the comedic parts don't really land and the dramatic parts aren't interesting or focused enough.

  • Spider-Man

    Spider-Man

    You ain't seen Spider-Man really crawl on a building till you see him crawl on the most obvious blue screen of all time.

  • Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

    Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

    More like Cheap n' Stale!

    Lonely Island, please stick to music, your movies are embarrasing us all.

  • Men

    Men

    ★★★½

    It's like Alex Garland was told Annihilation was confusing so he decided to make a movie that has zero subtlety and observations so shallow a child would think they're on the nose. Then again, a child would probably be traumatized by the film's bonkers third act.

    The perfermonaces are great, it's very creepy at times (kudos for avoiding jumpscares) and visually stunning, probably Garland's best-looking film to date. If only the script had something to say (other than the obvious)

  • The Bad Guys

    The Bad Guys

    ★★★½

    Cookie-cutter plot, but the animation and voice acting are great.

    Best Dreamworks animated movie since Megamind?

  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick

    ★★★½

    At one point someone tells Maverick "Despite your best efforts, you refuse to die" and I think it's a pretty good summary of Tom Cruise's career.

  • Top Gun

    Top Gun

    ★★★

    Cruise clearly has more chemistry with Kilmer than he does with Mcgillis. Was sure that every scene they shared would end with a kiss.

  • Firestarter

    Firestarter

    You can't cast Zac Efron as a dad. That would mean that I'm...old.