• A History of Violence

    A History of Violence

    "How do you fuck that up?" indeed. Good first hour but really falls apart at the third act.

  • Spiderhead



    Netflix's second dumb Black Mirror movie I've seen this year. Also the second Joseph Kosinski movie from 2022 that I'm gonna forget after a couple of days.

  • The Black Phone

    The Black Phone


    Worst escape room ever.

    + 0.5 star for one of the most amazingly dumb one-liners ever put on film.

  • The Bubble

    The Bubble


    It's like it was actively trying to be unfunny at every possible chance.

  • On the Count of Three

    On the Count of Three


    The leadin pair have good chemistry, but the comedic parts don't really land and the dramatic parts aren't interesting or focused enough.

  • Spider-Man


    You ain't seen Spider-Man really crawl on a building till you see him crawl on the most obvious blue screen of all time.

  • Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

    Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

    More like Cheap n' Stale!

    Lonely Island, please stick to music, your movies are embarrasing us all.

  • Men



    It's like Alex Garland was told Annihilation was confusing so he decided to make a movie that has zero subtlety and observations so shallow a child would think they're on the nose. Then again, a child would probably be traumatized by the film's bonkers third act.

    The perfermonaces are great, it's very creepy at times (kudos for avoiding jumpscares) and visually stunning, probably Garland's best-looking film to date. If only the script had something to say (other than the obvious)

  • The Bad Guys

    The Bad Guys


    Cookie-cutter plot, but the animation and voice acting are great.

    Best Dreamworks animated movie since Megamind?

  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick


    At one point someone tells Maverick "Despite your best efforts, you refuse to die" and I think it's a pretty good summary of Tom Cruise's career.

  • Top Gun

    Top Gun


    Cruise clearly has more chemistry with Kilmer than he does with Mcgillis. Was sure that every scene they shared would end with a kiss.

  • Firestarter


    You can't cast Zac Efron as a dad. That would mean that I'm...old.