Matcave 's Mini Movie Reviews
Matcave 's Mini Movie Reviews

Matcave 's Mini Movie Reviews

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  • The Ritual

    The Ritual

    ★★★★½

    Awful friends get stalked by,
    awfuller woodland abomination.

    Tense, Moody, Slow, English, WTFery.
    Rafe Spall wins all the acting.
    Have at it!

  • The Raid

    The Raid

    ★★★★★

    Tiny Indonesian men,
    kick each other to death.

    Camera operator is a witch.

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  • The Reliant

    The Reliant

    Christ: "Turn the other cheek"
    "Be wise as serpents, but gentle as doves"
    "Live by the sword, you die by the sword"
    "Blessed are the peacemakers"

    Christian Movie: "ANTIFA'S COMING!
    BUY YOUR CHILDREN BIGGER GUNS!"

  • Winter's Tale

    Winter's Tale

    ★½

    'My Adoptive Daddy's a Demonic Paddy, &
    That's Why I'm Very Depressed: The Movie'

    Sounds like best Jerry Springer episode.

    Plays like mix of mushrooms, depressants
    & barely paying attention in RE class. Avoid.

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  • Cyprus Avenue

    Cyprus Avenue

    ★★★½

    Socially awkward, somewhat racist, Belfast Loyalist, tells shrink he thinks baby granddaughter is Gerry Adams

    Muchlike our own wee Norn Ireland;
    - Messy, disjointed, clunky, uneven
    - bizarre, hilarious, tense, captivating

  • Daimajin

    Daimajin

    ★★★★

    remember Neverending Story? wished
    bigrockguy would smash allthethings?

    No? ...Thinking it now? Yeah. Enjoy.

    Giant stone samurai, goes a Godzilla,
    all over the asses, of ancient Japan.