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  • The House

    The House

    ★★½

    Not as bad as some people said, and not as good as other people said. Resoundingly okay.

  • Panic Room

    Panic Room

    ★★★★

    Fincher’s most underrated film.

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  • White House Down

    White House Down

    ★★★★

    Too much fun. Olympus Has Fallen can suck a dick.

    This brief review was brought to you by Maturity.

  • Godzilla

    Godzilla

    Even the small things in this movie bug me. I hate Matthew Broderick’s stupid hat and the rain adds no atmosphere. It’s clearly being used to cover up the crappy visual effects, and still doing a poor job of it. The movie’s a tonal mess where a couple of military guys die in a fiery blaze, and then it cuts to a joke about at least they fed Godzilla with all that fish HAR HAR HAR HAR. Then move to…