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  • Blue Lagoon: The Awakening

    Blue Lagoon: The Awakening

    ★½

    Everything about this feels like a teenagers wet dream.

    "The Awakening", hmm....what?

    Both incredibly attractive people stuck on a beautiful island after they school trip goes horribly wrong. While stranded, both of them fall in love with each other and later have sex (off-screen).

    By the way, one of the coolest school trips ever. I mean, a Caribbean field trip? Why can't I have this is the UK when I was in school?

    I can't believe this launch the career of Brenton Thwaites, because he's pretty terrible in everything I've seen him in, especially in this movie.

  • StreetDance 3D

    StreetDance 3D

    ★★½

    Why was this in 3D? I remembered watching this in cinemas when it came out 10 years ago, and am still asking that question.

    It's a time capsule of the 3D obsession, where every movie at the time wanted to make you flinch.

    Anywhere, 'StreetDance 3D' may have the moves, but it's story and characters leave a lot to be desire. It's incredibly predicable where you see everything that's going to happen within the first couple minutes. However, the amount…

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  • The 5th Wave

    The 5th Wave

    The 6th wave was the wave of people leaving the theater during the movie.

  • Assassin's Creed

    Assassin's Creed

    ★★

    YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE! You were supposed to destroy the bad video movies, not join them! Bring balance to cinema, not leave it in darkness!