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  • Justin and the Knights of Valour

    Justin and the Knights of Valour

    ★★

    Upon catching the "Antonio Banderas produced this so you know it's going to be wizard" credit, one certainly wouldn't expect his selling point to be some tall, overgrown man who hits on teenage girls who may not even be 18 yet

  • Relic

    Relic

    ★★★½

    Made me cry?????

  • The Old Guard

    The Old Guard

    ★★★½

    Yes, Charlize Theron wields an axe, but can we also talk about action star KiKi freaking Layne?

    Even get her billed alongside Theron, mayhaps?

  • Quest for Camelot

    Quest for Camelot

    ★★

    If there's anything about this movie that should be commonplace in animated kids movies nowadays, it's unreasonably demented villains voiced by unreasonably demented actors

  • Whose Streets?

    Whose Streets?

    ★★★★½

    This should be streaming in at least ten countries outside the US by now.

  • Family Romance, LLC

    Family Romance, LLC

    ★★★½

    tbh, Herzog? This is the one sort of film you ought to direct more often.

  • Artemis Fowl

    Artemis Fowl

    ½

    Whatever Branagh was lightly feeding on or smoking during the first Thor, consider this an overdose

  • Bad Trip

    Bad Trip

    ★★★★½

    The movie America needs more than any 2020 movie they've ever needed

  • The Old Man - The Movie

    The Old Man - The Movie

    ★★★★

    Practically begs you to give it another shot.

    Rick and Morty is trembling in its boots

  • Puppy Love

    Puppy Love

    I recall humans getting chopped up into seafood, cows exploding, humans getting grinded into meat products, people fucking so hard that they merge into a giant penis monster, an astronaut sucking out a man's eye and a naked CGI superman with elongated limbs walking through walls, and this feels like Annecy's most batshit twisted selection of the year

  • The Fox & the Pigeon

    The Fox & the Pigeon

    ★★★★★

    Considering this for my potential "animated films that handle discrimination between animals far less boneheadedly and more carefully than Zootopiaropolis" list

  • The End

    The End

    ★★★