Max Schmitz

I’ve made liking movies no one has seen a personality trait. 

To answer your question, yes, I am fun at parties.

Favorite films

  • Stalker
  • Barry Lyndon
  • Killer of Sheep
  • Pather Panchali

Recent activity

  • The Northman

  • Atonement

  • Pride & Prejudice

  • Burn After Reading

Pinned reviews

  • The Tree of Wooden Clogs

    The Tree of Wooden Clogs


    Rossellini, De Sica and Visconti: We believe we have created a cinema as close to reality as possible without being documentary. We call it neorealism.

    Olmi: Hold my wine.

  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems


    A friend asked me to come with them to skydive directly into the seat of a 10,000ft rollercoaster while snorting cocaine off the tail end and eating 5 steaks from sizzler while drinking 15 redbulls which had been stored in the Chernobyl fallout for the past 30 years all while being drenched in lead paint and having Idina Menzel scream "Let it Go" directly into my eardrum as the rollercoaster derails and falls from its highest point before landing in…

Recent reviews

  • The Suicide Squad

    The Suicide Squad

    I’m not sure what I expected from this movie, but being bored certainly wasn’t it. I’m kind of in shock honestly, the movie felt bad in a lot of ways, from almost every joke not landing, to absurdly strange and undeserved character moments, totally innocent people killed by main characters as a joke (which could work in a von Trier movie but in this the brutality just felt senseless and weird), not to mention enormously problematic, in a history of…

  • The Story of a Three-Day Pass

    The Story of a Three-Day Pass

    Actually insane, in all the best ways. Also I’m officially going to be that asshole to mention this movie whenever someone talks about the Spike Lee dolly shot. Spike was so clearly influenced in many ways by Van Peebles it’s cool to see.

Popular reviews

  • The Man Who Killed Don Quixote

    The Man Who Killed Don Quixote


    It's kind of a mess, and not that good, and misogynistic, and a bit racist. But I was entertained and laughed sometimes. That's all that matters. Right?

    With all the weird Muslim jokes and creepy sexual assault stuff it just feels like it's a movie they would have made 25 years ago. Oh wait...

  • Ayka



    Fuck, I don't want to live in Moscow.