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  • Mary Poppins Returns

    Mary Poppins Returns

    ★★

    Lin raps twice in the middle of two songs (written by a white dude). That’s a yikes. 

    Emily Blunt reads every line in the exact same sarcastic way while she rolls her eyes.

  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★½

    NOT FOR ME DOG

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  • The Babysitter

    The Babysitter

    ★½

    The movie is a $5 graphic tee that says “Lol I’m so random”. It laughs at its own script enough to make the humor pretty cringy. The plot teeters on “not set up at all” to “telegraphed from page one”. It is so empty 

    Oh yeah and the black lives matter/hands up dont shoot gag has to be the worst, most misguided joke in a movie i have seen in a long time.

  • Grease 2

    Grease 2

    Every song is a stinker (Reproduction being the worst of the bunch) and for a musical that is a pretty big portion of the movie. The male protagonist of the film only appears for about 25% of the movie and likes Michelle Pieffer for some reason. Definitely check this movie out if you want to watch a bowling scene that goes no where, a very boring talent show and a cringe-worthy attempted rape musical number in a nuclear bunker.