Avengers: Endgame

Avengers: Endgame ★★½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

first off, this film is on crack cocaine and how anyone thought this was more balanced than infinity war i have no idea. this film is for marvel stans and fanatics, and literally no one else (as it should be! 😤), the russos said FUCK THEM LOCALS! the amount of fan service, nods, and reference that could only be picked up by actually stans who can’t get enough of this superhero bullshit (me) is awesome. but i have a LOT to say so here goes:

tonally, i hated this so much. too many jokes that just did not land or were running on unnecessarily long (i.e. hulk and scott taking the selfie with the kids and hulk dabbing god i hate it). the russos/markus and mcfeely just kept flip flopping from dramatic and tense, to comedic and light and it totally takes away from the moment or character development in any given scene. they just don’t land the balance of comedy without sacrificing characterization like taika waititi or even j*mes g*nn do... overall, i wish the film was more serious because the circumstance were fucking serious!! (excluding characters who are known to be quippy and sarcastic like rocket, tony, etc) 

they got most of the characters right, they really did. natasha was AMAZING in this film, not unlike her energy in TWS which i had missed so much. getting to see the cracks of the emotional toll the snap had on her, running the entirety of avengers HQ by herself, and talking to steve, her closest thing to a brother, openly and honestly was fantastic and although i wish she didn’t die, i understand why she felt she had to and that it would be a great motivater for all the avengers because she was the one who always held them together, especially after the accords in CACW. but contrastingly, she already atoned for the red in her ledger by becoming a shield agent, then an avenger and continuously saving people; she already found a family to belong in despite what she was told in the red room, so why does she still feel unworthy, and felt it had to be her to die for the stone instead of clint because what, he had blood-born family? nah dude that don’t make no cents

tony’s death and funeral was beautiful and heartbreaking, and even though we all knew it was coming, that didn’t stop my waterworks. i mean just peter telling him they won over and over, then pepper finally telling him that it’s okay; to rest now, he did everything he needed to, that her and morgan will be okay.... fucking SOBBING into my shirt my dude. he truly sacrificed himself for the greater good just like he always thought he had to. to say i’m gonna miss him will be an understatement. the mcu began with robert downey jr, and this era has ended with him too

now the character they did absolutely fucking dirty... 

thor... thor sweetie, i’m so sorry. the entire time he was the butt of fat-shaming jokes when in reality he was so laid with survivors guilt that he turned to alcoholism (sound like anyone else we know?) and stopped caring for himself and his people... way to diminish the validity of those with PTSD, body issues, and the work of iron man 3 but okay markus & mcfeely, just tell your fucking jokes. never mind the fact that in infinity war, they give him a new hammer and ignored his disability that relates him back to his king of a father; totally discounting that in ragnarok, thor discovers he is more than his hammer and that the power comes within him instead. AND THEN HE GETS MJOLNIR BACK just for the writers to have steve use it in battle with thanos as an nod to AOU, where thor is then underused and outshined by steve???? smh (don't get me wrong, i’ve wanted to see steve pick up mjolnir forever and i fucking screamed wbk he’s worthy)

finally, steve. just wow. not only was steve ooc throughout (his dad outfits... no!) but the third act/ending was.... unbelievably ridiculous, out of character, predictable, and lazy. just a huge punch in the face to not only steve rogers as a character but to peggy goddamn carter. how dare the same writers who wrote right in the winter soldier “the world has changed, and none of us can go back... the best that we can do, is to start over,” also have that same steve leave his friends and the world in the present behind when they need his help to rebuild it and the avengers, just so he can go back to marry peggy, who had moved on and married and had kids and a whole life that didn’t include him, and also be aware that his best friend was out there somewhere being tortured and forced to kill dozens and.... doing nothing about it? it’s just unrealistic and frankly offensive that anyone would call that a satisfying ending. straight white people privilege is liking the ending to this film

and now we have all these time travel based plot holes a la x-men: dofp that completely fucked up the entire future of the mcu so bad, i can’t even get into cause it breaks my mind. FOLLOW YOUR OWN GODDAMN RULES RUSSOS AND MAKE IT MAKE SENSE AKFJSKD THATS IT IM DONE I CAN’T ANYMORE 

anyway, scott lang, carol danvers, and tony stark were the best parts of this film!

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