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  • Widows

    Widows

    ★★★★

    A poetic heist movie that drags in the middle, but delivers in the third act.

  • Under the Silver Lake

    Under the Silver Lake

    ★★½

    There's metaphors, and then there's fcked up metaphors. This is a fcked up metaphor.

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  • Outlaw King

    Outlaw King

    ★★★

    It could be a five star movie but my opinion is just jumping out of the water and it's so far away that I can't really tell if it's a 3 or a 5 or a penis.

  • The Makeover

    The Makeover

    This Hallmark movie is a perfect example how everything is predictable to a point where you know how things are gonna go just based on its title. The positive thing about The Makeover is that David Walton is tall, handsome, pleasant to look at and that he has big hands, which is apparently important because otherwise I can't justify my decision that lead me to watching this movie.