365 Days Β½

I'm hereby bringing you my review which is brought to you in a series of messages sent during the viewing of this movie. No explanations. Just facts.

πŸ‘ They are so synced already, orgasming at the same time.
πŸ† It's like Twilight mixed with Fifty Shades of Grey.
πŸ’ Dear Lord, I don't want to look.
πŸ‘ Whatttttttttt!? Why the songs!?
πŸ† How long has it been in the movie wise? Like 365 days, how many days has it been? Cause if it's like 4 days and they have sex, why have the other 361 days?
πŸ’ I'm afraid to make direct contact with the screen. I feel violated.
πŸ‘ Hahahahahahaahaha.
πŸ† She's emotional because she didn't get to s**k her kidnappers d**k?
πŸ’ Is her hair longer? How long is her hair? It looks different every f******g time.
πŸ‘ Has it been a week? It has definitely not been a month. Not in a million years is this 365 days.
πŸ’ *sex scene on the yacht* This is some quality music video...
πŸ‘ The old dude on the yacht is having a great day.
πŸ† Very skilled tango in 2020.
πŸ’ He had a portrait of her but he didn't know who she was so when he saw her he was like "omg that's my painting, i need to own the woman on the painting just like i own the painting of that woman". SHE'S THE PAINTING!
πŸ‘ *sex scene in the toilet* Again. After the yacht I'm surprised she can still walk.
πŸ’ Then again it could be four weeks or four months after the yacht because no time exist in this movie. HAS IT BEEN A WEEK? GIVE US A TIMELINE WOMAN. Don't give me d**k details (devil d) just give me the months you've been away woman.
πŸ† *double feature montage* Cheap wig.
πŸ‘ Oh dear, that was too close to my face.
πŸ’ I am losing my sanity yes, set me free indeed.
πŸ† She wore THAT dress to a church wedding!?
πŸ‘ At what point did she fall in love. Was it when he was getting a blow "out"? Was it when he choked her in the dressing room?
πŸ’ You've known him TWO MONTHS!? So why not name the movie 61 days?
πŸ† What the f**k! What is that!?
πŸ‘ OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!
πŸ’ She gone. She gone. Hahahahahaha.
πŸ† Did they make a s**t movie into a sequel because fml I don't want this!

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