RSS feed for Mike
  • Don Jon

    Don Jon

    ★★★½

    I couldn’t shake the feeling that Jon was just Tom (JGL’s character) from (500) Days of Summer who didn’t learn anything from his relationship with Summer, struck out with Autumn, and then moved back to Jersey after losing his job at the greeting card factory, where he continued to misunderstand how to be a decent human being and instead turned to a life of misogyny and addiction to porn... but maybe that’s just me.

  • Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

    Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I don’t get it, is Varla’s car named Pussycat?

  • Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams

    Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams

    I grew up wanting to be as cool as Carmen and Juni and now I’m 23 and still want to be as cool as Carmen and Juni

  • The Favourite

    The Favourite

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The slow burn of realizing that Emma Stone betrayed us as much as she betrayed Sarah and the Queen, with her cute ears and wide eyes, was painful most of all, and she deserves to nonsexually rub the queens legs until the end of her days.
    ---
    Stray Thought 1: the ending of this movie was more uncomfortable than anything I think I’ve experienced ever. If you’re gonna be gay and crying in front of a fireplace at least play…

  • Proud Mary

    Proud Mary

    ★★

    This movie felt like "The Room" with a legit producer and cast...to say, Taraji P. Henson did a great job playing a flimsy character, the stunt team did a great job in poorly-written fight scenes, and the trailer was flipping awesome even if it didn't accurately portray the quality of the movie represented.

    But honestly, my biggest gripe is that they played the song "Proud Mary" TWICE within twenty minutes of each other... if they're gonna use the song in…

  • Aquaman

    Aquaman

    I spent most of this movie thinking it was marvel and not DC, so I guess that says something about how far they’ve come since Green Lantern

  • Spider-Man: Homecoming

    Spider-Man: Homecoming

    ★★★★½

    I’ve honestly not seen a movie with smoother invisible transitions since Birdman like three years before it

  • Blindspotting

    Blindspotting

    ★★★★★

    This movie feels like an ode to Oakland as much as “Lady Bird” is an ode to Sacramento—our main character is shaped so much by the city they live in, and that city is depicted with such care and attention to detail instead of broad strokes.

    I also didn’t realize I was holding my breath for the last 30 mins of the movie until I started waking down the street in tears.

  • Three Identical Strangers

    Three Identical Strangers

    ★★★★

    A twist I did NOT see coming

  • Eighth Grade

    Eighth Grade

    ★★★★

    This movie feels like it is being told to two very distinct audiences: teenagers, who are currently living in Kayla's world and can directly relate to her struggles of growing up in the 2010s; and parents, who understand the struggles of growing up (by virtue of successfully coming out the other side) but haven't experienced the social isolation of coming of age in the era of social media and mobile technology. The latter audience sees the whole story through the…

  • Alex Strangelove

    Alex Strangelove

    ★★½

    Tbh I wish I just watched “love, simon” again instead
    Alex seems to be biromantic homosexual. Why can’t he just be canonically bi? As a gay man, I’m a little ashamed to watch yet another “white twink comes out” movie that had the potential to be SO MUCH MORE!!! The fantastic momentum being built up throughout the whole movie re: Alex’s identity just stopped dead in its tracks the moment he left Claire in the hotel room. I’m disappointed.

  • Incredibles 2

    Incredibles 2

    ★★★

    Vox reviewed this movie today and honestly everything I want to say is in this piece
    www.vox.com/summer-movies/2018/6/11/17446668/incredibles-2-review-pixar-jack-jack

    In short, this movie doesn’t really do anything new or different from the first go-round. Some scenes are almost shot-for-shot. I get that as a sequel with an expanding world, it’s hard to maintain the depth on the characters that we had in the first movie...  The direction they started going in with Helen’s role in the family vs Bob’s role was interesting…