I swear to god Scott, I know you waited for Ebert to die before you made this...
Nice poster though.
Lars Von Trier will not make a film unless he has some philosophical content to represent. Human sexuality is multiform, and rather than taking the A train and using the best of it to charm audiences, Nymphomaniac places the nature of sex under a microscope and truly acknowledges its versatility as a pastime, a weapon, a vulnerability, a passion and even a casualty (Foucault would be proud).
Additionally, it’s hilarious to see some of Shia Labeouf’s best acting written off by Americans as a supporting role in a "foreign pornographic film". He’s a real life bad luck Brian.