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  • Diggerz: Black Lung Rises

    Diggerz: Black Lung Rises

    ½

    That’s not how you do PhD-level work.
    That’s not how you get tattoos.
    That’s not how you do police work.
    That’s not a Finnish accent.

    So you have a group of incredibly bad actors, a miserable script, and absolutely zero thought put into this. The trifecta of horrendous special effects, puzzling dialogue delivery and a very poor story don’t come anywhere near to justifying a nearly two hour runtime.

    Every single character was bizarre in this, and since this movie…

  • Tales from the Darkside: The Movie

    Tales from the Darkside: The Movie

    ★★★

    I haven’t seen this in 25 years, and I remember it differently. This was just okay...stories were okay, Debbie Harry was okay, 2/3 of the stories were just okay.

    I dunno, it’s fine, but I’m not going to watch it again anytime soon.

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  • Hereditary

    Hereditary

    ½

    There is the genre of film that has recently become extraordinarily popular. It’s being peddled as horror but let’s not kid ourselves — it’s not. This recent genre includes pathetically boring movies like It Comes At Night, The Witch and this little film. The setup for these films is really just the same thing handed out in different ways — a very mundane and slow first hour under the guise of “building tension” where quite literally nothing happens. A family…

  • Watch If You Dare

    Watch If You Dare

    ½

    This thing dares you to watch it...it’s right there in the title. I dared, and I’m a worse person for it.

    Vignettes that go nowhere and do nothing.

    The Stylist: For reasons unknown, a lady who cuts hair drugs and scalps a woman, takes the scalp home, and gives it a test run complete with dialogue a la Jamie Gumb in Silence of the Lambs. As terrible as it is, it’s probably the best of the lot.

    Ink: For reasons…