• The Creator

    The Creator


    It’s hard to define the difference between an “objectively” mediocre movie (can we even be objective about art? no) that is enjoyable and one that isn’t. I think it comes down to intangible brain chemistry stuff at the end of the day. I hate to call an original blockbustery sci-fi “not enjoyable”, so I won’t. But it was almost not enjoyable, and I still can’t tell if that’s all the film’s fault or partly mine.
    On one hand, this is a…

  • Strange Way of Life

    Strange Way of Life


    Shot like a soap opera, or an upscale, sexless porno. Very abrupt ending, not a lot of depth, no character arcs. Bright and flat and over the top. Not terrible though! I just wanted to see them have gay sex but Pedro’s bare ass was good too.

  • Miss Congeniality

    Miss Congeniality

    vividly remember watching this at my friends house multiple times as a kid and she’s a lesbian now so do with that what you will

  • Get Over It

    Get Over It


    somehow both insane and boring!

  • Love Is Strange

    Love Is Strange


    I first heard about Love Is Strange at a screening of Passages a month or so ago, and I’m so glad I did.
    It’s a simple (albeit delicately-played) drama about two men who have been together for forty years who are trying to find a rent controlled studio apartment in New York City. And that’s all. Their love is never questioned, the only stressor on their relationship is that they have to be temporarily separated in homes that do not…

  • Mister Organ

    Mister Organ


    I’m not really a docs guy, but I’ll always love a David Farrier project. Mister Organ is harrowing and claustrophobic, submersing you in the world of titular abuser/general villain Michael Organ. It paints a really clear picture of the lengths toxic people can and will go to control others, and to control the narrative around themselves. It’s hard not to imagine yourself becoming Organ’s victim, or a victim of someone like him, when watching this film. The most brutal thing…

  • Chicken Run

    Chicken Run


    this movie radicalized me as a child

  • Killers of the Flower Moon

    Killers of the Flower Moon

    I got 2 hours into this and then the Chinese food i got for lunch started fighting tooth and nail to release itself from the prison of my stomach. I didn’t end up puking but I did end up getting an uber home and laying in bed all night. Can’t really review this on account of all of that, but Lily Gladstone is a POWERHOUSE.

  • The Social Network

    The Social Network


    I never actually enjoy watching The Social Network. Really highlights how terrible it can be to be a woman in tech. I wonder if it isn’t kind of reinforcing the disparity by not picking apart some of that misogyny more. Who’s to say really! Watched this during a 6 hour layover at Logan as if I needed self inflicted torture on top of external torture. But it’s the only Sorkin writing I deign to listen to and I can quote like the entire end of the movie so I had fun in that sense!!!

  • When Harry Met Sally...

    When Harry Met Sally...


    “I’m sorry, I need a judge’s ruling on this. Days of the week underwear?”
    ”Yes, they had the days of the week on them and I thought they were sort of funny. And then one day Sheldon says to me ‘You never wear Sunday’. It’s all suspicious. Where was Sunday? Where had I left Sunday? And I told him and he didn’t believe me.”
    “They don’t make Sunday.”
    Why not?”
    Because of God.”

  • Bram Stoker's Dracula

    Bram Stoker's Dracula


    I'm of two minds here.

    On one hand, this is the campest, most hornt-up vampire flick I've ever had the pleasure of seeing (and that's saying something). You cannot imagine without seeing this the sheer amount of moaning you'll hear throughout its two hour run time. Everyone is hamming it up in their own special way, especially Gary "No Scenery Left Unchewed" Oldman in his cunty heart-shaped wig, running around licking razors and making vampire puns. The sets are amazing,…

  • The Killer

    The Killer


    Daringly begs the question: what if an Apple Watch Guy also loved The Smiths?
    Fincher at his most navel-gazey, but he’s hardly devouring himself here. Many directors have tried (recently, even, though I won’t point fingers) to dissect themselves in their own work, reflect on their œvre in a way that doesn’t make you feel like you’re watching the equivalent of someone jacking themself off on screen for three hours (again, not pointing fingers). Many have failed.
    The Killer has…