• Last Night in Soho

    Last Night in Soho

    ★★

    this is what an ally looks like

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    ★★½

    Roe v Wade was overturned yesterday so it’s kind of weird to watch a movie where everyone is yelling about this America Girl and her powers 

    and like i’m supposed to believe this traumatized single mother is the toxic one? ok

  • The Northman

    The Northman

    ★★★★½

    some thoughts i had: 

    • this is why it’s so important to let white men tell their own stories
    • Willem Dafoe is the male Meryl Streep we can stop looking we found him 
    • so Shakespeare really looked at this guy’s name and said “ok but what if we moved the H to the front?” 
    • the end is literally just that one scene from Revenge of the Sith but still very metal 
    • He-Witch

  • Crimes of the Future

    Crimes of the Future

    ★★★★½

    long live the new sex

  • X

    X

    ★★★★

    what if Dirk Diggler was a girl boss

  • Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

    Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

    ★★★½

    i took an edible and spent the whole time worrying about someone just stepping on these lil guys

  • Spectre

    Spectre

    ★★½

    the James Bond of criminologists and his extremely horny doctor friend try to figure out if a demon possessed some rich siblings or if they’re just doing Caligula without all the penetration.

    these guys talk way too much.

    still better than the actual James Bond thing.

  • Satan War

    Satan War

    ★★★★

    this is the Jeanne Dielman of satan films.

    a prologue that can only be described as Black Suspiria.

    incredible textiles. the wallpaper is immaculate.

    starring bargain bin canadian Albert Brooks and a woman who is ON PILLS.

    the score is just the X-Men theme.

    possibly an accidental indictment of upwardly mobile suburban white people. genius if true.

  • The Lost City

    The Lost City

    ★★★½

    i watched this while eating a cheeseburger

  • Men

    Men

    ★★★★

    they fuckin really are everywhere aren’t they

  • The Innocents

    The Innocents

    ★★★★

    listen some kids are just assholes

  • Spider-Man: No Way Home

    Spider-Man: No Way Home

    ★★★★

    it’s easy to tell the 3 spider-men apart: there’s young spider-man, old spider-man, and sad spider-man. i also like how Willem Dafoe channels Gena Rowlands. maybe the most interesting acting choice in a superhero franchise and deserving of way more respect.