at its best this kind of felt like a Bravo show, a superhero Summer House or Real Housewives of Olympia. this has no business being as long as it is, but yeah sure i could have watched 3 hours of these ridiculously hot eternals navigating their Very Human feelings for one another

although lol nothing elicited more laughter from this film than the MCU’s fIrST sEX sCENe so make of that what you will (i made it to be that it was one of the more egregious offenses at this movie stumbling over itself by trying to be so serious when it’s like. you are a superhero movie. just be fun already)

biggest flaw here for me was the script—if it wasn’t exposition, then it was just repeating what happened onscreen like a footnote summary (useful i guess if you decided at any point during this 2.5+ hour runtime to go to the bathroom but weren’t sure what you may have missed)

this could have really benefited from having one or two solo films about the eternals before having this Avenger mashup. trying to give each character their own arc has good creative intentions but it’s like maybe impossible to actually execute with a cast this big, and so much more lore to get through.

or maybe not lore? maybe the amount of double crossing and backstabbing? at least two of the final turns weren’t necessary lol bc they didn’t heighten the drama or tension or stakes at the end of the day.

but also i really don’t WANT solo films about these characters. i already have a headache trying to figure out how the Marvel world has connected every single film and every single character. i read somewhere that for all of DC’s cinematic flaws, at least they are maintaining better the spirit of comics: that multiple versions of Batman can exist without needing to explain their variations, that not every storyline connects to a bigger plot. episodic. things can be episodic 

but alas instead we have this beastly space opera that is kind of fun but would have been MORE fun if it were a space soap opera. lean into the silly drama!

Block or Report