i will never not be weepy about mothers and daughters. it's pretty much a sure-fire to get the waterworks going, in the same way that ABBA guarantees me dizzying joy. i really cannot tell you what happens when i hear those opening notes of "Dancing Queen." it's like... a sudden rush of adrenaline, through which the love for every person i've cared about surges through me, and for just under four minutes, i think that yes, kindness not only can win, but will win. i think there is something at the very core of ABBA's music that appeals to the rare, perhaps even improbable, element of art that reaches for happiness. not representational mimesis, not genuine catharsis, but a cheeky and electric rush of happiness.

the older i get, the more often i'm starting to hear things about not taking life so seriously. i think, though, that i was born neurotic. and i think too it is irresponsible not to take life seriously, especially when only so many are granted that privilege of taking life for granted. but joy is necessary. letting light into your life is necessary. not dwelling in the darkness, if otherwise is a choice, is necessary. these abstractions are hard because there are so many asterisks with which i should, and must, qualify. i think talking about any sort of escapism is exactly this sort of fine line, between momentary relief and willful apathy or ignorance. but i'd like to think that Mamma Mia! is for anyone, as is ABBA; these are songs about a beautiful life that is ultimately a fantasy, never a reality, or even realistic. it's campy more than it is authentic. but it is made with such heart, and such joy, and i'd like to invite more of that into my life. i think we all have to, if we can.

and Lily James??? winner-takes-it-all.mp3