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  • Song to Song

    Song to Song


    *Rewatching Malick*: Part 8

    As I reach the end of this series, it's impossible not to draw endless comparisons. To see our modern concerts blast across where the children of 'The Tree of Life' played, to watch Natalie Portman's 'Rhonda' fall into similar traps as Sissy Spacek's 'Holly' in 'Badlands', to see more men drawn into the false promises of glamour and suburbia, affairs and passion, a la 'Knight of Cups' and 'To The Wonder', it gives a full picture…

  • Logan Lucky

    Logan Lucky


    "All these fake Southern accents are starting to piss me off." -my Mom

    The real crime here is Seth MacFarlane's name coming before Riley Keough's in the end credits. 

    It's unconventional and fun, but also slight and phony, which is the problem with most films this year. I feel like I've been saying this a lot lately, but it still rings true: it's leagues better than the rest of the crap out, so definitely go support it.

    BONUS POINTS: Riley Keough's fingernails, "dramastically", those ridiculous prison outfits. 
    NEGATIVE POINTS: Katherine Waterston's haircut, everything about Seth MacFarlane, and, this ones from my mom, Channing Tatum's "belly".

Popular reviews

  • God's Not Dead 2

    God's Not Dead 2

    An actual quote:

    *someone sneezes*
    "God Bless You"
    "Careful, or you'll be on trial next."
    God's Not Dead 3: Coming Next Summer

    Yeah, this is pretty bad, but I had a great time just because of how bafflingly absurd it is. Good times.

  • Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets


    My brain is still recalibrating to the real world but wow... I haven't had a theater experience like this ever? I don't think? I was engaged the entire time in this bonkers universe and I think I loved all of it? I don't know, guys, this is really something. It's overflowing with creativity and heart and it deserves a sequel and will never get one.

    This is the worst review I've ever written, I'm so sorry, I'm still readjusting.

    BONUS POINTS: too much Rihanna 
    NEGATIVE POINTS: not enough Clive Owen