Monday Seagull

Monday Seagull

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Too old for Hamlet, too young for Lear.

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  • La Dolce Vita

    La Dolce Vita

    Oh sure, but when I walk through the Trevi fountain I'm given a citation and have to pay a fine.

  • A Clockwork Orange

    A Clockwork Orange

    So much milk, but not a cookie in sight. The future looks bleak.

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  • Spam: The Documentary

    Spam: The Documentary

    Not gonna lie, I kind of miss the pornbots. All that adulation was doing wonders for my self-esteem. Those guys liked everything. Even the terrible reviews (of which I have many) were getting some love. 

    And speaking of love, a few of these artificially intelligent critics made it quite clear they were interested in having sex with me. What can I say? I found it very flattering.

  • My Little Chickadee

    My Little Chickadee

    There is an alternate universe where I am a University student in the early 1970s. I hate Nixon, have a Groucho Marx poster on my wall, and endlessly quote this wonderful movie.

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  • The Seventh Seal

    The Seventh Seal

    My own plan is to challenge Death to a little Super Mario Kart action. Immortality should await me as I'm almost unstoppable on Rainbow Road.

  • Crash

    Crash

    I used to be really racist. But then I saw this movie. Now I'm not racist anymore.

    If you don't wanna be racist, you should watch it too.

    Just make sure you see this particular movie and not the other Crash by David Cronenberg. That one just makes you really kinky.