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  • Only Angels Have Wings

    Only Angels Have Wings

    Remember on Who's the Boss?, when Jonathan got too old and they added Billy, that weird kid who sounded like he'd been smoking two packs a day since birth?

    Or remember on Growing Pains, after Ben (who was, sadly, never really that cute to begin with) went through puberty and they usurped him with Chrissy? And then, when she turned out to be far more grating than adorable; they shoved them both aside for a prepubescent Leonardo DiCaprio?

    Well, somewhere…

  • The Nativity Story

    The Nativity Story

    After all the visitors had left - and with both Mary and the baby sleeping away peacefully - Joseph stood outside the stable and took a big drag from his large, funny smelling cigarette. 

    "Hmmm," he thought. "I don't know about that Gold and Frankincense, but this Myrrh is some good shit."

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  • Crash

    Crash

    I use to be really racist. But then I saw this movie, and now I'm not racist anymore.
    If you don't wanna be racist, you should watch it too.
    Just make sure you see this movie and not the other Crash by David Cronenberg. That one just makes you really kinky.

  • To Die For

    To Die For

    Once, when I was eighteen, I ate a sandwich too quickly and developed a horrible case of the hiccups. Ridding myself of the condition wasn't usually a problem, but this particular case was troublesome as none of my usual tricks (e.g., eating peanut butter, holding my breath, tiny sips of water) were proving effective.

    Twenty-four hours later, with still no change, I grew worried and sought medical advice. A doctor (probably suspecting my case as psychosomatic) prescribed me some very…