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  • 1313: Haunted Frat

    1313: Haunted Frat

    ★★

    I cannot stop watching these movies. No matter what else I am doing these fucking 1313 movies haunt me. I feel intensely that I need to watch all of them even though they're exactly the same. They're hypnotizingly terrible. I can't look away from the screen even though nothing happens or the same scene is looped endlessly until I start to feel like I'm going insane. 

    Someone help me

  • Lorna, the Exorcist

    Lorna, the Exorcist

    ★★★½

    Film #37 of Shocktober17

    Lorna is the possessor. The "mysterious, irresistible, sorceress from a fantasy novel" Gorgeous, theatrical, dreamy and powerful. Lorna knows what she wants and she will get it, or ruin you trying to. Lorna and her electrifying blue eyeshadow; "this woman wants our destruction".

    Lorna is the mother who desires to be united with the now 18-year old Linda (played by Lina Romay). Lorna with soft orange and brown makeup, dressed in black lace. Visiting in the…

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  • Cannibal Hookers

    Cannibal Hookers

    ★★★½

    I am an easy woman to please. Give me sexy women who rip out the hearts of men and eat them. Give me glorious synths. Give me sisterhood!!! I don’t need much more. 

    (Plus Prince’s SIGN O’ THE TIMES plays in the background at one point !!!!)

  • A Lizard in a Woman's Skin

    A Lizard in a Woman's Skin

    ★★★★

    Never been my favorite Fulci, but I've always been in love Morricone's jazzy score and figured it was time for a re-visit. Really came out of this with a newfound appreciation for Florinda Bolkan who was a wonderful actress and, imo, extremely underrated (no one really talks about her as much as say, Edwige Fenech or Barbara Bouchet, but she's just as gorgeous and as much of a giallo queen, superb in this as she was in don't torture a duckling). Lesbian sex dreams turned into murderous fantasies turned into real-life murder mysteries, that is what I live for!!!

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  • The Green Inferno

    The Green Inferno

    ★★★★

    I met Eli Roth.

    I just met Eli fucking Roth. Wow. Okay I don't know how much of this will be an actual review of the movie and how much will be me gushing over how sweet and amazing Eli is but bear with me. I won tickets to meet Eli and see a screening of this movie as part of Wizard World in Chicago. Unfortunately I didn't know that the reception was 21+ (that's because the contest I entered…

  • Antfarm Dickhole

    Antfarm Dickhole

    ½

    i took some notes while watching this:

    - 1 min. in and there's a discussion about premature ejaculation. i'm not entirely convinced this isn't a porno?
    - what grown man (he has to be at least 30) still gets bullied? by other 30 yr old men????
    - since when are ants capable of devouring human flesh and organs leaving nothing but a bloodless pile of bones behind.
    - why are the ants so angry
    - "I can feel them crawling…