Favorite films

  • The Thing
  • Aliens
  • Mad Max: Fury Road
  • Mandy

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  • Thrashin'

    ★★

  • Last Action Hero

    ★★★

  • Last Man Standing

    ★★★

  • The Last Boy Scout

    ★★★

Pinned reviews

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  • Prospect

    Prospect

    ★★★★

    The Robert Heinlein-like aesthetic serves the narrative completely and the mostly ambiguous expository elements are seemingly imperative to the overall world-building. A culmination of abstract concepts that scratch a very specific and decidedly hard to reach sci-fi itch.

  • Aliens vs Predator: Requiem

    Aliens vs Predator: Requiem

    Fox Studio Executive:
    "We can take this sequel anywhere we want. We can go to the farthest reaches of space and beyond. We can tell an amazing story and fill the screen with rich otherworldy details. We can finally give fans what they've been clammering for! We're limited only by our imaginations. So, tell me. Where do we go from here?"

    Shane Salerno:
    "Gonna set the whole thing inside a dimly lit sewer in Bumblefuck, Colorado."

Recent reviews

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  • Thrashin'

    Thrashin'

    ★★

    That duet during Chrissy's sex scene remains hilariously uncomfortable and "Brolin's" judo air to frontside lien to tail at Del Mar is still pretty gnarly.

  • Last Action Hero

    Last Action Hero

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    It always feels like a missed opportunity not having Schwarzenegger fight some classic Columbia Pictures villains and monsters in the final act. Jack Slater vs. Bram Stoker's Dracula and a bunch of Night of the Living Dead zombies in "real world" New York would have been mind-blowingly awesome. This scenario is hinted at a few times, among other similarly hinted at scenarios, but none of it ever happens. Only Tom Noonan's Ripper and Ian McKellen's Death get to cross over. They're both cool and all, but they aren't vampires and zombies running amok cool.

Popular reviews

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  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road

    ★★★★½

    Subverted every expectation I've ever had about moviegoing and literally exploded my face off.

  • Son of Batman

    Son of Batman

    ★★★½

    Deviated too much from Morrison's arc to be considered comparable, but made up for its lack of story with some truly memorable action and tons of ninja fodder. The ratio of one-liners to hemorrhaging was astounding and the final battle between Damian Wayne and Slade Wilson was especially brutal.