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  • Kull the Conqueror

    Kull the Conqueror

    ★½

    My grandmother Palmira passed away this weekend.

    For some reason upon hearing the news I flashed back to a random afternoon 23 years ago when I some how managed to convince her to take me to see this in theaters on one of our days together. We walked to Green Acres Cinemas in Rosedale, Queens, and we watched this mediocre failed Conan reboot.

    I suppose true love is enduring nonsense like this with your dumb pubescent grandson. So I felt…

  • Michael

    Michael

    ★★

    This is definitely the same actor who would go on to star in The Fanatic two decades later. I almost didn’t recognize him since he was dragging the dead weight of a lifeless Andie McDowell and William Hurt with him across the most boring beige landscapes ever photographed.

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  • Midsommar

    Midsommar

    ★★★★½

    “When I made this I was going through a break up. I’m all better now” - Ari Aster, introducing this film. 

    Slow clap. 

    Also, the most honest representation of tripping on mushrooms I’ve ever seen on film.

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    ★★½

    So I liked it more the third time than either of the previous two times.

    Maybe I have Stockholm syndrome.

    Maybe I was finally able to let the stupidity wash over me and allow it to just try to entertain me.

    Maybe I could finally just see it less cynically, and see the utter desperation to be loved underneath.

    Either way, it’s fascinating to watch the chemical reaction of a movie that runs entirely on emotional fumes because the idea…