Favorite films

  • Royal Warriors
  • Lady Snowblood
  • The Last of the Mohicans
  • Man of the West

Recent activity

  • So I Married an Axe Murderer


  • Dracula 3D


  • Hate Thy Neighbor


  • Gothic


Pinned reviews

  • Band of the Hand

    Band of the Hand


    I'm so glad the 80's coughed this movie up because there's just no other decade in which it could have been made. It's like someone took Lord of the Flies, The Dirty Dozen and Miami Vice, threw them all in a blender and then poured the resulting smoothie into a silk paisley suit. And if that analogy felt like an awkward tonal mess than that's exactly the feeling I was going for.

    And yet, because this commits so fully to…

  • Hands of Steel

    Hands of Steel



    Dear Sergio Martino,

    We are excited to appoint you as the director for our new film project, Hands of Steel (Fists of Steel on a Wednesday between 7:45 and 9:15). We think your stylish gialli show you have the perfect skill set and attitude to make our film a success.

    Your place of work will be the desert of Arizona, USA, in which we have…

Recent reviews

  • Under the Skin

    Under the Skin


    Transcendent film-making. In Under the Skin, Jonathan Glazer utilises the syntax of film - sound and vision - to tell its story in a way that is breathtakingly cinematic. This film feels to me like a profound artistic statement - not only in its themes, its thesis on life and alienation and what it means to be a human being, but also in its manipulation of the form to literally progress the artform itself.

    In giving us a protagonist who…

  • Omen III: The Final Conflict

    Omen III: The Final Conflict


    "Your pain on the cross was but a splinter compared to the agony of my father. Cast out of heaven, the fallen angel, banished, reviled. I will drive deeper the thorns into your rancid carcass, you profaner of vices. Cursed Nazarene. Satan, I will avenge thy torment, by destroying the Christ forever."

    See, this is my problem with horror movie Satanists (even when they're the son of Satan himself). They're so resentful! They're like entitled little teenagers, with their petty…

Popular reviews

  • Total Recall

    Total Recall


    I committed a bit of a faux-pas. A friend of mine said he wanted to have a movie night and he suggested Blade Runner because it's his favourite movie. I'm not going to say no to watching Blade Runner, but I suggested a Philip K Dick double feature, with Total Recall as the B movie. Problem is, I sent him an Outlook calendar invite titled "Dickfest" which triggered an alarm in his work's security software and gave his wife a…

  • Martyrs



    For the first two acts, I thought this was incredible. It was every bit as brutal and disturbing as I'd been led to believe, but it was tight, suspenseful, intriguing...

    And then we hit the third act, and then I knew why people always say they'll never watch this a second time. And this took me way past what I really have any interest in watching.

    But it's not just what is being represented. It's the amount of time we…