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  • Solo: A Star Wars Story

    Solo: A Star Wars Story

    ★★½

    Solo? New low, more like. Muddied action, muddled storytelling and befuddling callbacks that are all symptomatic of fan service, rather than original storytelling. Han is supposed to be one of the more morally ambiguous characters but this does more to diminish him than Greedo shooting first ever did.

    And this and Rogue One (which is a significantly better film) might be together inventing a new genre of Star Warsplaining, films which rob the originals of their own charm by attempting…

  • The Room

    The Room

    ½

    In every possible, conceivable way, when measured on artistic achievement, be it writing, directing, acting, cinematography, editing, or pretty much any other craft involved in cinema, The Room is one of the most abject failures ever to be filmed. It is truly dreadful in ways that are almost too numerous to list and too varied to do justice to with mere words.

    I would see it again in a heartbeat. (As long as there’s at least 100 other people present and they all brought spoons.)

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  • The Emoji Movie

    The Emoji Movie

    ½

    Had a 🎦 📅 with my niece to ⌚️ this. She 💭 it was gr🎱 but we had just 👀 War 4️⃣ The 🌎Of The 🦍 which she 💭 was 😭 and this was 😊 er. 👁 💭 this would 🐝 a 🍕 💩 and 👁 was ➡️, but I was sur🎁d just ✋🏽 much ✖️ 🐟ment there was. The audi🐜🐜🐜 was full of 👶 too young to have 📱 or 2️⃣ (🐑 🐑 🚺) the apps, but 👁 sus🐔…

  • Snatched

    Snatched

    ½

    I watched Snatched today. My brother-in-law had to have a colonoscopy. I think he still had a better day than I did. (He's fine. I can't unsee this.)