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  • Despicable Me 3

    Despicable Me 3

    ★½

    Some nice animation but the story, script and voice acting are all awful. Despicable Shit, more like.

  • Spider-Man: Homecoming

    Spider-Man: Homecoming

    ★★★

    Spider-Man: Homecoming - sponsored by Sony and Audi - is another slice of Marvel's Crash Whizz Bang forgettable nonsense that we've come to know and love.

    It's all bollocks, really. Annoying, too-talkative "superhero"? Check. Plot-by-numbers? Check. Subtle-as-a-brick product placement? This "check" is sponsored by Sony and Audi. Robert 'One of the Most Overrated Actors on the Planet' Downey Jr? Check.

    Granted, there's the odd chuckle to be had. And Marisa Tomei. That's all I'm saying. Marisa Tomei.

    But it's all…

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  • Dunkirk

    Dunkirk

    ★★★★★

    I started writing a long review of this but can't really do it any justice. So, here are some thoughts:

    It's so very tense, from start to finish, never really letting up.

    It's not gratuitously violent but at the same time it doesn't hold back.

    Nolan structures the movie with an ingenious temporal trick that works beautifully.

    The aerial dogfights are astonishingly tense and beautifully shot.

    The performances are uniformly excellent. Even from that geezer from Wand Erection.

    The music…

  • Zootopia

    Zootopia

    ★★★★★

    I went into Zootopia expecting to be entertained, at the very least. After all, that's what Disney is expert at, right?  But I came out of the cinema with a new-found enthusiasm for what the genre can deliver, which is more than I ever expected. 

    Firstly, the CGI is astonishing. It's not as photorealistic as the environments (not the characters) in The Good Dinosaur, but the textures and lighting effects in Zootopia have been rendered perfectly. Each scene is absolutely…