Favorite films

  • First Blood
  • Rambo: First Blood Part II
  • Rambo III
  • Rambo

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  • Fast X

  • If the Sun Drowned Into an Ocean of Clouds

  • Two-Lane Blacktop

  • The Congress

Recent reviews

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  • Naked

    Naked

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Commentary from the brilliant director and others, helped me notice a blink-and-you'll-miss-it portion of an early shot in which the main guy jacks a car with a baby stroller in the boot, which elevates his badness from 10 (violent rapist) to 11 (violent rapist who just stole a young mother's automobile).

    In the canon of Great Unrecommendable Movies, obviously, but I'd pay to peep some sicko fanfic graphic novel about what happens when John T. Naked encounters Anton Chigurh, or…

  • Fast X

    Fast X

    Hated the first half, shut it off, and reluctantly resumed the experience a couple days later with assistance from a substance known to give one the munchies, which was a good choice for a movie more juvenile than a guest verse on a Cash Money mixtape, more juvenile than Matt Gaetz's Venmo contacts, more juvenile than the decision to wake & bake and watch a FastFurious picture while eating cornbread dabbed with honey and ghost pepper hot sauce you bought from…

Popular reviews

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  • American Sniper

    American Sniper

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    As a soldier, one of the first things at which I excelled, according to the infallible eye of my drill sergeants, was marching and marching movements. As a white guy and someone whose idea of nightmare is dancing in public, I’m a proud member of Rhythmless Nation, but I can twist & turn on command at perfect stiff right angles in combat boots with the best of them, apparently. This, uh, skill led me to be selected for local funeral detail…

  • Body Double

    Body Double

    ★★★★

    Fuck you, purists.
    This is better than Hitchcock.