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  • Spider-Man: Homecoming

    Spider-Man: Homecoming

    ★★★★½

    Pros:
    - Michael Keaton 
    - Vulture design was sick, loved the entire look
    - Broke the boring Marvel bad guy trope
    - Quippy but not too much
    - Michael Keaton
    - Hot. Aunt. 
    - Spider-Man out of his element [tall buildings] was new and kept things interesting 
    - No Sony 
    - No Andrew Garfield 
    - Michael -fucking- Keaton

    Cons:
    - The stuff with Flash got tiresome. Like I got that he was a dickhead after the first one or two interactions; they revisited it too much.
    - Forced Gwyneth Paltrow cameo aka issa cram-eo

    --------
    Overall everything felt refreshing.

    4.5 out of 5

  • The Avengers

    The Avengers

    ★★★½

    + .5 after learning what mewling quim means

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  • Iron Man

    Iron Man

    ★★★★½

    How does Tony fall from the sky, in a rinky-dink suit made of scraps, constructed in a cave in the middle of nowhere, and just get up and walk away while Rhodey falls from the sky, in a mark whatever-the-fuck suit, and gets paralyzed from the waist down? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

  • Nocturnal Animals

    Nocturnal Animals

    ★★★★★

    🎶 
    Now this is the story all about how, 
    My life got flipped, turned upside down, 
    And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, 
    I'll tell you how I got fucked and died in the middle of nowhere. 

    In West Texas my family got beaten and raped but
    In the desert is where I spent most of my day.
    Stressin' out, maxin', no relaxin shit ain't cool, 
    My wife and kid got took I looked like a…