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  • I Am Santa Claus

    I Am Santa Claus

    ★★

    What can I tell you? It's Saint Patrick's Day! We're all drunk!
    -Santa Claus

    We're meeting Mick Foley on Tuesday so my buddy thought it would be a good idea I watched this. Would have much more enjoyed it if it would have been just about good old Mick, his family and Christmas.

  • Kid with the Golden Arm

    Kid with the Golden Arm

    ★★★½

    Golden Arm never uses weapons. He claims he doesn't need them, and that using his bare arms is best. And, he's probably right.
    -Iron Feet

    After watching a string of Liu Chia-liang Shaw Bros Kung Fu films I had almost forgotten how bloody violent his contemporary Chang Cheh is, especially when he has his Venom Mob in tow. It's a universe where getting impaled by a spear is no guarantee that the fight is over.

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy

    ★★★★½

    I am Groot.
    -Groot

    I am Groot. I AM Groot! I'm Groot. I am GROOT? I'm GROOT! I AM GROOT?! I am Groot! I AM Groot. I'm Groot?! I am GROOT! I'm GROOT? I AM GROOT. I am... GROOT!

    I am GROOT. I AM GROOT! I'm GROOT?! I AM Groot? I'm Groot! I am Groot?! I am Groot? I AM Groot?! I'm Groot? I am GROOT?! I'm GROOT. I AM GROOT? I... AM... GROOOOOOOT!

    ************SPOILER WARNING************
    I am Groot.
    ************END OF SPOILERS************

  • Jaws: The Revenge

    Jaws: The Revenge

    ½

    Roar!
    -Shark

    Instead of doing a review I will just point out the crap that inhabits this film.

    - The shark roars like a lion.
    - Mario Van Peebles does a Jamaican accent
    - The shark swims from New York to the Bahamas in less then 3 days.
    - This is the sequel that popularized the tagline "This time it's personal!"
    - African Americans feet apparently look Caucasian under water
    - The god damn shark is hunting one family, even…