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  • Spider-Man: Homecoming

    Spider-Man: Homecoming

    ★★★★

    It would be terrible to lose a student... on a school trip... again.
    -Mr. Harrington

    We have two multiplexes both owned by Cineplex... so they both basically play the same god damn movies so we ended up wanting to go to the movies, but I had basically seen everything that we'd be willing to watch. Mrs. DuLac hadn't seen Homecoming yet though, so that's that.

  • Terminal Island

    Terminal Island

    ★★★

    Welcome to Terminal Island baby.
    -Monk

    Fun women in prison film directed by exploitation pro Stephanie Rothman. Stars Ena Hartman as Carmen, a black woman who will not take shit from anyone... so of course she's dumped on Terminal Island, an place solely inhabited by murderers.

    It does the usual formula of women being mistreated and then coming back for revenge, but it's got colorful characters and a lead you can get behind from the beginning. It also co-stars Tom Selleck and Roger E. Mosley... Magnum, P.I. had some dark origins.

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy

    ★★★★½

    I am Groot.
    -Groot

    I am Groot. I AM Groot! I'm Groot. I am GROOT? I'm GROOT! I AM GROOT?! I am Groot! I AM Groot. I'm Groot?! I am GROOT! I'm GROOT? I AM GROOT. I am... GROOT!

    I am GROOT. I AM GROOT! I'm GROOT?! I AM Groot? I'm Groot! I am Groot?! I am Groot? I AM Groot?! I'm Groot? I am GROOT?! I'm GROOT. I AM GROOT? I... AM... GROOOOOOOT!

    ************SPOILER WARNING************
    I am Groot.
    ************END OF SPOILERS************

  • Jaws: The Revenge

    Jaws: The Revenge

    ½

    Roar!
    -Shark

    Instead of doing a review I will just point out the crap that inhabits this film.

    - The shark roars like a lion.
    - Mario Van Peebles does a Jamaican accent
    - The shark swims from New York to the Bahamas in less then 3 days.
    - This is the sequel that popularized the tagline "This time it's personal!"
    - African Americans feet apparently look Caucasian under water
    - The god damn shark is hunting one family, even…