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  • Alien

    Alien

    ★★★★★

    Ash, that transmission... Mother's deciphered part of it. It doesn't look like an S.O.S.
    -Ripley

    When you get right down to it, Alien is a "B Movie" made with "Triple A Movie" sensibilities. The story in one broad stroke is a crew of people on a ship getting killed off one at a time by a creature. A story doesn't get more "B Movie" then that. I think the problem ended up being that every single person involved with the…

  • Night of the Living Dead

    Night of the Living Dead

    ★★★★★

    They're coming for you, Barbara!
    -Johnny

    The birth of the modern zombie. It's often that Night of the Living Dead is simply mentioned as the first modern zombie film and almost all the praise goes to Dawn of the Dead as the greatest zombie film ever made. Night deserves much more praise then that.

    The rules of the modern zombie is engraved in pop culture. My 9 year old stepdaughter knows what a zombie is and she's never witnessed a…

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  • Rock & Rule

    Rock & Rule

    ★★★½

    She can sing, or she can scream. But she still pissed me off.
    -Mok

    Debbie Harry’s voice can open doors to alternate dimensions. Unrelated, she also does the singing for Angel in Rock & Rule.

    ---------------------------------------------------
    Degrees of Separation from Last Movie:
    -Rock & Rule with Don Francks
    -Was in I’m Not There with Christian Bale
    -Was in Knight of Cups with Imogen Poots
    -Was in Black Christmas

  • Black Christmas

    Black Christmas

    Did you just "not all men" me?
    -Kris

    Jesus Christ. Did Sophia Takal and April Wolfe just scroll through Twitter when writing the dialogue for this movie? No one in this film acts like a functioning human being.

    I see plenty of arguments as to what the problem is with this movie from it being “too woke”, to having an agenda, to being rated PG-13. It’s nothing complicated. The problem with this movie is that it’s garbage.

    Blumhouse got lazy…

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy

    ★★★★½

    I am Groot.
    -Groot

    I am Groot. I AM Groot! I'm Groot. I am GROOT? I'm GROOT! I AM GROOT?! I am Groot! I AM Groot. I'm Groot?! I am GROOT! I'm GROOT? I AM GROOT. I am... GROOT!

    I am GROOT. I AM GROOT! I'm GROOT?! I AM Groot? I'm Groot! I am Groot?! I am Groot? I AM Groot?! I'm Groot? I am GROOT?! I'm GROOT. I AM GROOT? I... AM... GROOOOOOOT!

    ************SPOILER WARNING************
    I am Groot.
    ************END OF SPOILERS************

  • Jaws: The Revenge

    Jaws: The Revenge

    ½

    Roar!
    -Shark

    Instead of doing a review I will just point out the crap that inhabits this film.

    - The shark roars like a lion.
    - Mario Van Peebles does a Jamaican accent
    - The shark swims from New York to the Bahamas in less then 3 days.
    - This is the sequel that popularized the tagline "This time it's personal!"
    - African Americans feet apparently look Caucasian under water
    - The god damn shark is hunting one family, even…