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  • Keeping Up with the Joneses

    Keeping Up with the Joneses

    ★★

    Feels like they took the pilot of sitcom and stretched it out to 100 minutes. Nothing offensive, just safe predictable humor. No matter how lame the jokes were though I found it impossible to hate Isla Fisher.

  • Cecil B. Demented

    Cecil B. Demented

    ★★★

    Technique is nothing more than failed style.
    -Cecil

    In typical John Waters fashion just when you think you know the message he's trying to put across you realize you have no real idea what the fuck is going on. Maybe he was trying to say that yes the typical Hollywood output is anything but inspired, but at the same time the young "artists" that rebel against it are also a pain in the ass. A bit fucked up in the…

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy

    ★★★★½

    I am Groot.
    -Groot

    I am Groot. I AM Groot! I'm Groot. I am GROOT? I'm GROOT! I AM GROOT?! I am Groot! I AM Groot. I'm Groot?! I am GROOT! I'm GROOT? I AM GROOT. I am... GROOT!

    I am GROOT. I AM GROOT! I'm GROOT?! I AM Groot? I'm Groot! I am Groot?! I am Groot? I AM Groot?! I'm Groot? I am GROOT?! I'm GROOT. I AM GROOT? I... AM... GROOOOOOOT!

    ************SPOILER WARNING************
    I am Groot.
    ************END OF SPOILERS************

  • Jaws: The Revenge

    Jaws: The Revenge

    ½

    Roar!
    -Shark

    Instead of doing a review I will just point out the crap that inhabits this film.

    - The shark roars like a lion.
    - Mario Van Peebles does a Jamaican accent
    - The shark swims from New York to the Bahamas in less then 3 days.
    - This is the sequel that popularized the tagline "This time it's personal!"
    - African Americans feet apparently look Caucasian under water
    - The god damn shark is hunting one family, even…