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  • The Spy Who Loved Me

    The Spy Who Loved Me

    ★★★★

    R.I.P.
    Sir Roger Moore
    October 14, 1927 - May 23, 2017

    His best Bond film. It has everything classic 007 films need. Super villain with an over the top plan for world domination, a bit off goofiness, iconic henchmen, standout Bond Girl, gadgets up the wazoo, a fight on a train (have you ever noticed how many damn Bond films have him fighting on or in a train?).

    He's the first James Bond we've lost. He's still immortal though.

  • Antibirth

    Antibirth

    ★★★

    I can barely even take care of myself let alone some weird immaculate inception.
    -Lou

    Kinda like the white trash version of Rosemary's Baby.

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy

    ★★★★½

    I am Groot.
    -Groot

    I am Groot. I AM Groot! I'm Groot. I am GROOT? I'm GROOT! I AM GROOT?! I am Groot! I AM Groot. I'm Groot?! I am GROOT! I'm GROOT? I AM GROOT. I am... GROOT!

    I am GROOT. I AM GROOT! I'm GROOT?! I AM Groot? I'm Groot! I am Groot?! I am Groot? I AM Groot?! I'm Groot? I am GROOT?! I'm GROOT. I AM GROOT? I... AM... GROOOOOOOT!

    ************SPOILER WARNING************
    I am Groot.
    ************END OF SPOILERS************

  • Jaws: The Revenge

    Jaws: The Revenge

    ½

    Roar!
    -Shark

    Instead of doing a review I will just point out the crap that inhabits this film.

    - The shark roars like a lion.
    - Mario Van Peebles does a Jamaican accent
    - The shark swims from New York to the Bahamas in less then 3 days.
    - This is the sequel that popularized the tagline "This time it's personal!"
    - African Americans feet apparently look Caucasian under water
    - The god damn shark is hunting one family, even…