The Expendables ★½

Barney Ross - What's wrong with this picture?
Lee Christmas - Everything.

"Men on a Mission Movies" have existed since the dawn of time. They usually have very simplistic plots, a huge cast of heroes, simple characterization, very little plot development and very little character development.

Sometimes a film might expand on one of those, but usually the formula stays the same. This has been used in everything from samurai films, westerns, war movies, science fiction... you name it and they've done it. A lot of these have ended up being classics, some of them masterpieces. This isn't one of them.

The Expendables has one thing going for it, and one thing only: stunt casting. That is what the film was sold on, and that is the only thing the film delivers on. Some of the action isn't half bad, but too much of it is ruined by god awful CGI gore. Horror and action movies have been doing practical effects for gore on the cheap for literally decades with amazing results. There's really no excuse for this crap.

Instead of keeping the plot simple and just sending all these badasses on a mission reminiscent of The Dirty Dozen, they decide the film needed a plot. Well I'm here to tell you that an action film with no plot is better then an action film with a stupid one. An extremely stupid one complete with idiotic character moments.

With all that said I still enjoy watching this movie. It's like watching an Old Timers All Star Hockey Game. Sure the game sucks, but you're just happy seeing your favorite stars doing what they're famous for. There's a few moments in the film that worked for me which include some action scenes and small moments of the gang just hanging out, but there's more scenes like those that are just bad then good.

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