• Family Switch

    Family Switch


    25 Films of Christmas 

    A lot of people seemed to have liked this a lot more than I did. Makes me feel like I missed the boat. I’ll say this though, Emma Myers has all the potential in the world for something bigger and better. 

    Other than that, I thought McG has hit a new level of mediocrity.  

    Degrees of Separation from Last Movie: 
    -Family Switch with Rita Moreno 
    -Was in Happy Birthday, Gemini with Madeline Kahn 
    -Was in High Anxiety 

  • High Anxiety

    High Anxiety


    Yes! The woowoo. Perhaps the most significant psychological feminine component known to mankind. 
    -Dr. Richard H. Thorndyke 

    Lesser Mel Brooks is still better than what passes off as satire today. A loving Alfred Hitchcock sendoff with its biggest flaw being it lacks the edge of what Brooks had done before by this point. 

    Degrees of Separation from Last Movie: 
    -High Anxiety with Cloris Leachman 
    -Was in Scary Movie 4 with Jess McLeod 
    -Was in It's a Wonderful Knife 

  • It's a Wonderful Knife

    It's a Wonderful Knife


    25 Films of Christmas 

    Damn. I was really looking forward to this. Underwhelming, but still kind of, ok? Felt like the wrong person was the lead of the film. Jess McLeod as Bernie by far was the most likeable character in the film. 

    Felt rushed with a lot of wasted concept potential. Fun enough for 87 minutes though. 

    Degrees of Separation from Last Movie: 
    -It's a Wonderful Knife with Justin Long 
    -Was in Crossroads with Dan Aykroyd 
    -Was in Sneakers 

  • Sneakers



    There isn't a government on this planet that wouldn't kill us all for that thing. 
    -Donald Crease 

    If it wasn’t for the star power this would probably be forgettable, but that’s just it. They make it memorable. All this talent and they look like they are having a blast. 

    Sure no one is stretching their acting muscles, and most are hamming it up, but who cares. I like it. 

    What’s funny it’s one of those films where I remembered nothing…

  • The Holdovers

    The Holdovers


    Life is like a hen house ladder. Shitty and short. 
    -Paul Hunham 

    Alexander Payne had already directed enough great films to cement his legacy but this might be his best. 

    You could say that casting Paul Giamatti in this role is too on the nose, but who gives a shit. He’s too good at playing this type of character not to enjoy it. Also, where the fuck did Dominic Sessa come from? He was fantastic. 

    Da'Vine Joy Randolph deserves praise…

  • The Boxer's Omen

    The Boxer's Omen


    Come here. I want to talk to you. 
    -Qing Zhao 

    Holy shit. Starts out as a gangster revenge film but then the film itself drops acid and goes completely off the rails. An assault on the senses, good taste and film as an art form. It’s awesome. 

    Degrees of Separation from Last Movie: 
    -Boxer’s Omen with Phillip Ko 
    -Was in Dragons Forever with Shing Fui-On 
    -Was in China White with Billy Drago 
    -Was in Mysterious Skin 

  • The Final Game of Death

    The Final Game of Death


    Happy Bruce Lee Day! 

    At 223 minutes, it’ll probably be too much for anyone except Bruce Lee fans, but it’s a fantastic way to present all available footage from Lee’s unfinished Game of Death while solving the problem of having no sound by presenting a voice over essay about what Lee was aspiring too over it. 

    It’s really too bad about the sound though as I would have loved to hear those moments between takes where Lee seemed incredibly happy…

  • King on Screen

    King on Screen


    Functional and not much else. It’s not a very well-made doc, but the subject matter will win some over. Reminds me how I find that Hollywood or some cinephiles don’t respect Stephen King much. Considering his impact on pop culture over the last 50 years a better documentary than this should be available, even if it only centers on movie and tv adaptations. 

    I still liked it though because I’m a sucker for watching documentaries about stuff I love that offer little to no new information. I’m cheap and easily entertained. Show me movie clips of films I already like and I’m happy. 

  • Mysterious Skin

    Mysterious Skin


    Okay's a relative term. 

    I don’t think I will ever watch this again, but I won’t have to because this is going to stay with me for some time. 

    Degrees of Separation from Last Movie: 
    -Mysterious Skin with Joseph Gordon-Levitt 
    -Was in Inception with Ken Watanabe 
    -Was in The Creator 

  • The Creator

    The Creator


    Whose side are you on, huh? 

    So well made that you don’t notice how dumb it is. Not necessarily dumb, more like a great idea that wasn’t fully developed. 

    There’re some moments of illogical nonsense that I can’t get passed but it looks so good that I don’t really care. It just feels like the film should have been smarter. Like I’m holding it up to a higher standard because of the production value. 

    Great production with fantastic performances.…

  • Man's Favorite Sport?

    Man's Favorite Sport?


    Every time I see you, you're up to your neck in zippers. 
    -Tex Connors 

    A bit too goofy to ever crack my list of favorites Howard Hawks‘ films (if I made one), what with the bear riding a motorcycle and Rock Hudson ending up wearing inflatable pants, but damn if I didn’t still find it delightful.  

    Hudson is of course great and all, but the real reason I enjoyed this so much is because of Paula Prentiss. Was never really…

  • Five Nights at Freddy's

    Five Nights at Freddy's


    Just keep your eyes on the monitors and keep people out. Piece of cake. 
    -Steve Raglan 

    When Willy’s Wonderland came out, everyone said that it was a rip-off of the Five Nights at Freddy’s video game. That seems to be more or less right, but in that film Nicolas Cage plays the lead who doesn’t utter a single word in the entire film and that character is by far more interesting than all characters combined in this one. The character…