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  • Prometheus

    Prometheus

    ★★★★½

    There is nothing in the desert and no man needs nothing.
    -David

    I am one of those assholes that completely loved Prometheus right from the get go. Dumb scientists, MedPod for males only and everything else. I don't care.

  • In the Heat of the Night

    In the Heat of the Night

    ★★★★½

    I got the motive which is money and the body which is dead.
    -Chief Gillespie

    I love the way the film isn't just about Sidney Poitier versus the racists, but about a simple murder that would have probably been solved faster not just because of the racists, but because of how it alters Tibbs own behavior.

    See you don't just have the hick town not wanting to listen to Virgil Tibbs because he's black, but because Virgil lets it effect…

  • The Uninvited

    The Uninvited

    We survive by remembering. But sometimes we survive by forgetting.
    -Dr. Silberling

    I'll be forgetting this film.

    A remake of a Kim Jee-woon film sounds like a horrible idea under the best of circumstances, even if you were to adapt one of his more straightforward outings. A Tale of Two Sisters is NOT one of those straightforward outings. With Two Sisters, Director Kim demonstrated that when it comes to horror films he thinks completely out of the box. It's a…

  • Mother's Day

    Mother's Day

    ½

    I'vs always wondered did she just throw me away.
    -Kristin

    Yes... yes she did because you're a shitty person just like every other character inhabiting this god forsaken movie.

    I think Mrs. DuLac and the resident teenager decided it was time to pay me back for my habit of watching films linked to whatever day it is. Watching Halloween on Halloween (or beginning of October if I'm marathoning the franchise that year), an Alien film on "Alien Day", a Nicole…

  • Metropolis

    Metropolis

    ★★★★½

    I am who?
    -Tima

    Probably a good 15 years since I watched this and it was great to be reminded why I had loved it so much back then. Osamu Tezuka's version of Metropolis uses Fritz Lang's original masterpiece as a jumping off point to tell it's own stylistically unique sci-fi adventure.

    Of course the character designs will seem familiar to a generation that grew up on Astro Boy, but the style I'm referring too is the city of Metropolis

  • Turbo Kid

    Turbo Kid

    ★★★★

    Eyes, throat, genitals!
    -Apple

    Kids today don't realize how rough 1997 was.

  • The Swarm

    The Swarm

    By tomorrow there will be no more Africans... at least not in the Houston sector.
    -General Thalius Slater

    Wait... what the fuck did that general just say?

    Disaster b-movie featuring killer bees who's most shocking aspect is how the hell did they get Academy Award winners to be in this dreck. It does feature some ridiculous moments like bees managing to derail a train and the army thinking it's a great idea to kill them in enclosed spaces using flame…

  • The Orphanage

    The Orphanage

    ★★★★½

    Seeing is not believing. It's the other way around. Believe, and you will see.
    -Aurora

    Ghost stories are usually something I can't stand in modern horror films, not because I hate that sub-genre of horror but because modern film makers have no god damn idea how to make a proper one. It's a lost art form. This though? This is god damn fantastic.

    When I logged Julia's Eyes, horrorfan reminded me I had to watch The Orphanage because really putting…

  • House of Wax

    House of Wax

    ★½

    Yeah, let's follow the smell.
    -Paige Edwards

    The smell of shit...

    Here's a great idea; make a contemporary remake of one of Vincent Price's greatest horror films, but instead of doing anything remotely interesting with it's plot (or have a plot at all), just do the standard slasher template, 5-6 young victims, gimmicky killer and film it. There ya go. House of Wax (2005)... oh let's throw in Paris Hilton for good measure. That wasn't confusing at all, being almost…

  • Psycho II

    Psycho II

    ★★★★

    I don't kill people anymore.
    -Norman Bates

    Step daughter was intrigued when I told her that there was a sequel made 23 years later with Anthony Perkins returning as Norman Bates so here we are. She enjoyed it. I imagine will be watching III and IV soon.

    Funny enough I think my favorite line for Psycho II isn't in the film or even spoken by any of it's characters. It's in the trailer and spoken by the legendary horror movie…

  • The Man Who Knew Infinity

    The Man Who Knew Infinity

    ★★★

    Don't be intimidated. Great knowledge comes from the humblest of origins.
    -Littlewood

    An incredibly weak script propped up by great actors and a great production. Can't remember the last time I watched a biopic that had so little to say on it's subject, but sometimes it managed to be good enough at times that I didn't care. It's hard to not like Jeremy Irons even when he's being a complete ass.

  • Treasure Island

    Treasure Island

    ★★★★

    You ain't gonna let honesty stand in the way o' bein' smart?
    -Long John Silver

    I wasn't able to figure out if this is the Treasure Island that I remember as a kid or not. All the right elements are there, but I seem to remember it in color. You'd think that would make me certain that it couldn't be a film from 1934, but sadly it would not be the first time remembering a film in color from childhood…