Favorite films

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Pinned reviews

  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    I want to murder a lighthouse wickie
    And bury him next to me
    I want to slaughter a lighthouse wickie
    Right by the side of the sea
    He'll polish his knob with a cry of glee
    A scrimshaw mermaid on his knee
    I want to butcher a lighthouse wickie
    Won't that be okay?

    We'll find a head in the old cistern
    Drink turpentine by the shore
    We'll invite the mighty Kraken in
    And one-eyed seagulls by the score

    I dream…

  • Battlefield Earth

    Battlefield Earth


    ♫...Hey kids let's go clear together
    Dianetics taught us techniques that will wipe our minds forever.
    We'll kill some Body Thetans tonight so stick around
    You're gonna see H-bombs blow volcanos right off the ground

    Say Johnny and L. Ronnie have you seen him yet?
    Oh, but he's so spaced out
    Xe-Xe-Xe-Xenu and the Clams
    Oh, but he's weird and he's horrible
    Oh, Xenu he's really mean
    He's got e-metered boots
    Wears a pressure suit
    You know I read it…

Recent reviews

  • Time After Time

    Time After Time


    When this first came out, Ms. BH and I almost immediately adopted it as "our movie" (well, right after "The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant") and we probably saw it in the theater and rented it on VHS at least a dozen times. I dug it because of my lifelong fascination with H.G. Wells and the weird juxtaposition of his novel "The Time Machine" with the timeless horror of Saucy Jack, set in the seedy, not quite yuppified, San Francisco of the…

  • Top Secret!

    Top Secret!


    Only from the collectively warped minds of ZAZ could this have ever emerged. A Nazi/Spy/Elvis/Surf/Beach Boys/Casablanca/Endless Love spoof with an extra helping of bleach-blonde permed, bull-sodomized, Christopher Villiers.

    If this had come out 10 years earlier, I would've been the first gremmie at Newport Beach skeet-surfin' from his purple Dewey Weber shortboard.

Popular reviews

  • Harold and Maude

    Harold and Maude


    I get why this film resonates so much with a specific demographic of nostalgic old hippies, and aging baby-boomers who feel creatively stifled by their careers, but its central message of tuning in, turning on, and dropping out was a tad outdated even when it was originally released, and it certainly hasn't aged like a fine wine since.

    But what really chaps my ass are the 1-dimensional strawmen authority figures that director Hal Ashby sets up as Harold's obstacles on…

  • The Brain That Wouldn't Die

    The Brain That Wouldn't Die

    ♪ Girlfriend with no body
    I know, I know
    It's serious ♪