Favorite films

  • The Manchurian Candidate
  • Brazil
  • The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
  • Amadeus

Recent activity

  • Go West


  • The Viking Queen


  • Blood from the Mummy's Tomb


  • The Limey


Pinned reviews

  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    I want to murder a lighthouse wickie
    And bury him next to me
    I want to slaughter a lighthouse wickie
    Right by the side of the sea
    He'll polish his knob with a cry of glee
    A scrimshaw mermaid on his knee
    I want to butcher a lighthouse wickie
    Won't that be okay?

    We'll find a head in the old cistern
    Drink turpentine by the shore
    We'll invite the mighty Kraken in
    And one-eyed seagulls by the score

    I dream…

  • Santa Sangre

    Santa Sangre


    [Sante Sangre 9 1st Impression Part 1]

    Step inside our circus tent.
    Please ignore the dead elephant
    We had to give him up for Lent
    Step inside! Step inside!

    We've got thrills and shocks
    Downs kids snorting Chinese Rock
    Leave your right ear in the box
    Come inside! Come inside!

    Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
    See the show!

    Left behind the bars
    Orgo samples the tattooed lady's charms
    Won't someone please call the gendarmes
    Before his wife is totally…

Recent reviews

  • Go West

    Go West


    S. Quentin Quale: Are you insinuating that the white man is not the Indian's friend? Ha! Who swindled you out of Manhattan Island for 24 dollars?
    Joseph Panello: White man.
    S. Quentin Quale: Who turned you into wood and stood you in front of a cigar store?
    Joseph Panello: White man.
    S. Quentin Quale: Who put your head on a nickel and then took the nickel away?
    Joseph Panello: Slot machine.
    S. Quentin Quale: Members of the tribe - I…

  • The Viking Queen

    The Viking Queen


    I'm guessing that everyone involved with this ridiculously ahistorical Hammer peplum must've simultaneously experienced severe head trauma, because that's the only way I can explain how they could've come up with a film mashing up Romans, blue-painted Celts, Druids who worship Greek gods, an anachronistic "Viking" warrior queen who appears to be based on Boudica, and a scene extolling the social benefits of progressive taxation followed by a fiery human sacrifice backdropped against a cheesy model of Stonehenge. The fact…

Popular reviews

  • The Music Man

    The Music Man


    I laughed. I cried. I Shipoopied.

  • Harold and Maude

    Harold and Maude


    I get why this film resonates so much with a specific demographic of nostalgic old hippies, and aging baby-boomers who feel creatively stifled by their careers, but its central message of tuning in, turning on, and dropping out was a tad outdated even when it was originally released, and it certainly hasn't aged like a fine wine since.

    But what really chaps my ass are the 1-dimensional strawmen authority figures that director Hal Ashby sets up as Harold's obstacles on…