I want to murder a lighthouse wickie
And bury him next to me
I want to slaughter a lighthouse wickie
Right by the side of the sea
He'll polish his knob with a cry of glee
A scrimshaw mermaid on his knee
I want to butcher a lighthouse wickie
Won't that be okay?
We'll find a head in the old cistern
Drink turpentine by the shore
We'll invite the mighty Kraken in
And one-eyed seagulls by the score
I dream…
[Sante Sangre 9 1st Impression Part 1]
Step inside our circus tent.
Please ignore the dead elephant
We had to give him up for Lent
Step inside! Step inside!
We've got thrills and shocks
Downs kids snorting Chinese Rock
Leave your right ear in the box
Come inside! Come inside!
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!
Left behind the bars
Orgo samples the tattooed lady's charms
Won't someone please call the gendarmes
Before his wife is totally…
S. Quentin Quale: Are you insinuating that the white man is not the Indian's friend? Ha! Who swindled you out of Manhattan Island for 24 dollars?
Joseph Panello: White man.
S. Quentin Quale: Who turned you into wood and stood you in front of a cigar store?
Joseph Panello: White man.
S. Quentin Quale: Who put your head on a nickel and then took the nickel away?
Joseph Panello: Slot machine.
S. Quentin Quale: Members of the tribe - I…
I'm guessing that everyone involved with this ridiculously ahistorical Hammer peplum must've simultaneously experienced severe head trauma, because that's the only way I can explain how they could've come up with a film mashing up Romans, blue-painted Celts, Druids who worship Greek gods, an anachronistic "Viking" warrior queen who appears to be based on Boudica, and a scene extolling the social benefits of progressive taxation followed by a fiery human sacrifice backdropped against a cheesy model of Stonehenge. The fact…
I get why this film resonates so much with a specific demographic of nostalgic old hippies, and aging baby-boomers who feel creatively stifled by their careers, but its central message of tuning in, turning on, and dropping out was a tad outdated even when it was originally released, and it certainly hasn't aged like a fine wine since.
But what really chaps my ass are the 1-dimensional strawmen authority figures that director Hal Ashby sets up as Harold's obstacles on…
