I want to murder a lighthouse wickie
And bury him next to me
I want to slaughter a lighthouse wickie
Right by the side of the sea
He'll polish his knob with a cry of glee
A scrimshaw mermaid on his knee
I want to butcher a lighthouse wickie
Won't that be okay?

We'll find a head in the old cistern
Drink turpentine by the shore
We'll invite the mighty Kraken in
And one-eyed seagulls by the score

I dream…

♫...Hey kids let's go clear together
Dianetics taught us techniques that will wipe our minds forever.
We'll kill some Body Thetans tonight so stick around
You're gonna see H-bombs blow volcanos right off the ground

Say Johnny and L. Ronnie have you seen him yet?
Oh, but he's so spaced out
Xe-Xe-Xe-Xenu and the Clams
Oh, but he's weird and he's horrible
Oh, Xenu he's really mean
He's got e-metered boots
Wears a pressure suit
You know I read it…

When this first came out, Ms. BH and I almost immediately adopted it as "our movie" (well, right after "The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant") and we probably saw it in the theater and rented it on VHS at least a dozen times. I dug it because of my lifelong fascination with H.G. Wells and the weird juxtaposition of his novel "The Time Machine" with the timeless horror of Saucy Jack, set in the seedy, not quite yuppified, San Francisco of the…

I get why this film resonates so much with a specific demographic of nostalgic old hippies, and aging baby-boomers who feel creatively stifled by their careers, but its central message of tuning in, turning on, and dropping out was a tad outdated even when it was originally released, and it certainly hasn't aged like a fine wine since.

But what really chaps my ass are the 1-dimensional strawmen authority figures that director Hal Ashby sets up as Harold's obstacles on…