The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years ★½

Apart from an occasional listen to Motörhead's "Ace of Spades" and Metallica's "Enter Sandman" on my iPod at the gym, I'm not into Metal by any stretch of the imagination, so I went into this pretty much determined not to like it, and my low expectations were fully met.

Unlike the frequently annoying, but occasionally profound musings of the L.A. Punks in TDoWC Part I, these hair-hopping knuckleheads have nothing important to say about anything and just drone on and on about chicks, beer, chicks, makeup tips, RAWK, and more chicks. Occasionally, we're treated to the profound musings of elder statesmen of RAWK, like world-class nitwit, Paul Stanley, who's shown lying in bed, surrounding by adoring babes in lingerie, and Alice Cooper, who bizarrely claims that Hair Metal saved RAWK from the hideous depredations of 80's techno, Goth, and New Wave. As a fan of Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark, Echo and the Bunnymen, Gary Numan, Love and Rockets, and Bauhaus, all I can say is, fuck you, Alice, you hypocrite. Do you remember that little Gary Numan ripoff you released in the 80's?

I couldn't even enjoy this as an ironic postmodern deconstruction of Metal, so pretty much a complete waste of time.

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