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  • The Witch

    The Witch


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I once had a similar experience to Thomasin. Except instead of Black Phillip the goat talking sweet nothings into thy ears, it was Ginger Dave my cat. And the crescendo of it all was not floating around a fire in the darkened woods but me throwing myself out of the window of my second floor flat breaking my coccyx. Still it was not so much to do with our Lord Satan as the copious amounts of magic mushrooms I consumed. Ah those were days.

  • Black Sabbath

    Black Sabbath


    Gorcha: What's the matter woman? Can I not fondle my own grandson?

Recent reviews

  • They Shall Not Grow Old

    They Shall Not Grow Old


    Should have been given a much bigger push and wider cinema release.

  • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

    Rogue One: A Star Wars Story


    I love Ben Mendelsohn's Director Krennic in this. Suitably frustrated and weasely, overshadowed by his more domineering superiors.

    One day they will go back and revamp Grand Moff Tarkin, mark my words.

Popular reviews

  • The Fly

    The Fly


    Peter Parker had it easy.

  • Jaws



    A tragic tale of a lost and distressed fish hunted down by an aquaphobic police chief, a disgraced oceanographer trying to regain some of his tarnished reputation and a nasty drunk with a fetish for bowlegged women. All of them egged on by a corrupt mayor trying to find someone or something to blame for his small islands dwindling tourist industry and his poor taste in fashion. I wish it had a happy ending, but they even go so far as to insult the fishes mother before finally commiting the coup de grace. Shameful stuff. Five stars.