"which side do you think god is on"
This isn’t a film, it's limited edition merch. It’s licensed ephemera that the accountants, landlords, product managers and any other well-adjusted member of the spend-money-now official horror fandom, who all dress vaguely rockabilly for some reason, can safely enjoy with their terrible children.
The opening flashback of Halloween Kills is the biggest brick I’ve seen in a while: a nerd looks into the camera and croaks “the boogey man”, some homeschooled stage kids fail to be convincingly mean…
The top-voted Letterboxd review of this film is an imaginary conversation an ancient shithead claims to have had with teenagers in which he blew them away with the opening shot of Halloween (presumably before bench pressing them both.)
He claims to have done this merely to prove “most of them have the attention span of fruit flies with ADHD and that most modern media seems to cater to their sugar rush needs causing them to lose appreciation for the power…