Favorite films

  • The Emperor's Naked Army Marches On
  • Iguana
  • Chameleon Street
  • Penda's Fen

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  • Dead Hands Dig Deep

    ★★★

  • Citizen Shane

    ★★★

  • Impaler

    ★★

  • Hated: GG Allin & The Murder Junkies

    ★½

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  • Impaler

    Impaler

    ★★

    The only film containing a shot of a sad 15 year old skater standing in front of like 300 abandoned toilets being asked if he is afraid other kids at his church could find out his dad is a satanist vampire who faked his own death, ran for office and who claims to have sex with his equally satanic half-sister who actually died when she was an hour old.

  • Hated: GG Allin & The Murder Junkies

    Hated: GG Allin & The Murder Junkies

    ★½

    Opening with an approving quote from John Wanye Gacy, this is a deeply 90s object. I thought I'd seen this and I still am not sure now I've watched it. Everything I watched when I was 17 was like this, Bob Flanagan's Sick: hello, but I don't remember all this pseud shit. The other guy who talks about meeting Gacy as well is the classic feral books man.

    After The Mentors hagiography I thought I might be predisposed to the…

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  • Halloween Kills

    Halloween Kills

    ½

    Halloween blows.

    This isn’t a film, it's limited edition merch. It’s licensed ephemera that the accountants, landlords, product managers and any other well-adjusted member of the spend-money-now official horror fandom,who dress vaguely rockabilly for some reason, can safely enjoy with their terrible children.

    The opening flashback of Halloween Kills is the biggest brick I’ve seen in a while: a nerd looks into the camera and croaks “the boogey man”, some homescholled-stage-kids fail to be convincingly mean and Jim Cummings, the…

  • Halloween

    Halloween

    ★★★★★

    The top-voted Letterboxd review of this film is an imaginary conversation an ancient shithead claims to have had with teenagers in which he blew them away with the opening shot of Halloween (presumably before bench pressing them both.)

    He claims to have done this merely to prove “most of them have the attention span of fruit flies with ADHD and that most modern media seems to cater to their sugar rush needs causing them to lose appreciation for the power…