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  • Babe

    Babe

    ★★★½

    It's rare for any movie to never condescend once, but for children's entertainment to do so is practically unheard of. Even the singing mice, probably the most spoon-fed element on display, were only added because toddlers couldn't read the chapter names. They're relegated to the role of chorus, cute reactionary bystanders, while also making the animal community feel a little more alive and complex. The rustic landscape is unwaveringly gentle, grounded in a robust workaday rhythm, while the realities of…

  • The Elephant Man

    The Elephant Man

    ★★★

    Like most of Lynch’s films, it has a good heart. His concern for those who are vulnerable to the world’s cruelties will always move me, even when muddied like it is here by a clumsily structured script. The engagements in the voyeuristic similarities between circus shows and bourgeois society are intensely provocative, beginning with the questionable ethics of the first medical presentation and escalating to awkward visits by England’s finest. But the culmination in Hopkins’ musty reading of “Am I…

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  • Far Far Away Idol

    Far Far Away Idol

    ½

    My family went to a house party in 2005. While all the parents drank and chatted downstairs, all the kids were up in the playroom, shooting Nerf guns and watching Shrek 2. When the credits rolled, the host's kids popped into the bonus features and queued up this motherfucker. After every character performed their song, we were asked to vote on who should win. I put up my hand for Donkey's passionate performance of "Disco Inferno," but, of course, Prince…

  • The Emoji Movie

    The Emoji Movie

    I had to stare into the abyss, but I didn't expect to find more of the same. Apparently it takes both our most malleable minds being in the crosshairs and the center staging of mundane touchstones of modernity to fully spell out the toxic derivativeness that fuels the current studio system’s factory line. But this is far from the sole occurrence of mistaken translations of the zeitgeist and incessant citations being resorted to for quick cache in board room pitches.…