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  • Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

    Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

    ★★★½

    I've been all over the map with this thing, but it's time to come to terms with the fact that all of it is practically burned in my brain. Sort of have to give it up. The mouse trap sadism of the source material is pretty much bulletproof and the reality show elimination structure keeps things zippy. Burton's commitment to the novel's pricklier edges is what sells the project, going full tilt on the solipsism inherent to the enigma at…

  • Alice in Wonderland

    Alice in Wonderland

    ½

    "Tim Burton gave me a lot of freedom to do pretty much whatever I wanted to do. He showed me some reference footage, but it wasn't very specific. I didn't really know what he wanted, so I kind of just freestyled in front of him. He liked it, you know? And then the second time I did something completely different and he liked that one too. So I just figured, 'Alright, he just wants me to dance.'" — David 'Elsewhere'…

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  • Far Far Away Idol

    Far Far Away Idol

    ½

    My family went to a house party in 2005. While all the parents drank and chatted downstairs, all the kids were up in the playroom, shooting Nerf guns and watching Shrek 2. When the credits rolled, the host's kids popped into the bonus features and queued up this motherfucker. After every character performed their song, we were asked to vote on who should win. I put up my hand for Donkey's passionate performance of "Disco Inferno," but, of course, Prince…

  • The Room

    The Room

    ★★★★★

    On an eleventh watch, I realize that Lisa and Claudette talking about breast cancer means that this film technically passes the Bechdel test.

    Also, masterpiece.