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  • Bad Boys for Life

    Bad Boys for Life

    ★★★★

    Pretty much everything you could reasonably want from a Bad Boys movie. Over-the-top action sequences, good chemistry and goofy humor between the leads, and an absurd storyline that works solely as a device to move these two from one shootout to the next.

    It's mindless fun, and plenty of it.

  • Underwater

    Underwater

    ★★

    The disaster/survival aspect is a whole lot more interesting/effective than the creature-feature stuff. There are several effective set-pieces, and the suspense throughout is well handled. But, in the end, it's all dragged down by characters I'm never made to care about. There's no Ripley, here. Instead, we're stuck with someone lacking any charisma or grit, and a slew of overwritten, under-realized supporting characters, leaving me stuck with a stuffed bunny to care about.

    At least they gave him a satisfying end.

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  • Alien: Covenant

    Alien: Covenant

    ★★★★

    "No one understands the lonely perfection of my dreams."

    Michael Fassbender should get a nomination for this. He won't, but he should. He's so fucking good.

    Outside a handful of problems (mostly some minor pacing issues in the second act, but also some minor horror movie clichés here or there), I loved every second of this film. Fassbender's just a wicked delight, the production design is amazing, and Ridley Scott manages to build up a great deal of tension and dread throughout the film's fairly basic, familiar story arc.

  • Unfriended

    Unfriended

    ★★★½

    I honestly don’t quite know whether this is some sort of millennial masterpiece or a steaming pile of shit.

    I do know that I (briefly) felt compelled to write quite a long piece on this film, and that, while watching, I was enjoying whatever it is I was given.