.5 = U R A #FAILURE
★ = D-
★ .5 = D
★★ = C-
★★ .5 = C
★★★ = B-
★★★ .5 = B
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Every time I rewatch this, I think I love it more, and I don't even know how that's possible when it's PERFECT DO NOT TOUCH ME.
Except during this rewatch, it was going through the metaphor of a cult opposing dudes named Christian, Mark, Josh, and Simon, with the bonus of Connie, Dani, and Terri, wherein these seemingly benign names ALSO tell you everything that's going to happen here, as much as the art does, or the fact that we're…
The critics have everything absolutely entirely wrong about this film, from the "tonal dissonance" to "Hardy didn't take this seriously." God forbid in an era overrun with tryhard grimdark, we inject a little self-aware humor into an early-aughts concept of "edgy."
Essentially: this is a movie critics are going to hate and the fanbase, if they open themselves up to the fact that this isn't going to be directly Spiderverse related, is going to like much better.
Venom as a…