MysticSpoonAttack πŸ₯„πŸ’«
MysticSpoonAttack πŸ₯„πŸ’«

MysticSpoonAttack πŸ₯„πŸ’«

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  • The Last Airbender

    The Last Airbender

    Β½

    A complete trainwreck in motion, rapidly screeching along from scene to scene while excruciating expository dialogue is force-fed to you, and yet NOTHING makes ANY goddamn sense. Characters go from location to location without any rhyme or reason, completely lacking any shred of motivation, and it results in a series of events that collectively form one confusing mess.

    You can watch the show to fill in some of the gaps in logic and especially context, although the film already does…

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  • A Knight's Tale

    A Knight's Tale

    β˜…β˜…Β½

    I'm starting to think that I find movies set in medieval(-ish) times to be pretty damn boring, since I had almost the exact same reaction to this as The King - although this didn't piss me off by the end, so I guess it's better.

    Just so longgggg. There is no reason this had to be over 2 hours long; no real (interesting) stakes until halfway through the damn movie, the characters aren't exactly very interesting, and some could've been…

  • Birdemic: Shock and Terror

    Birdemic: Shock and Terror

    Β½

    Ugh.

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  • Boyhood

    Boyhood

    β˜…β˜…β˜…

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I hate to be the cynical asshole who didn't love Boyhood, but seeing the ocean of overwhelmingly positive reviews out there, I think it's okay to make a more critical sound.

    Boyhood was really...manipulative. Possibly the most manipulative film I've seen in quite some time. There's not one factor, but a combination of factors that makes it so manipulative.

    I think the main appeal of this film comes from the fact that the majority of people who watch this place…

  • The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    β˜…β˜…Β½

    General summary:


    Greed is bad, you guys.

    Dragon bites the dust at the drop of a hat. Bye bye powerful cliffhanger from the last film.

    Greed is really bad, you guys.

    CGI CGI CGI CGI CGI CGI CGI

    Pointless cameos make pointless cameos in the first film less pointless.

    An army.

    CGI CGI CGI CGI CGI CGI CGI

    ANOTHER army.

    CGI CGI CGI CGI CGI CGI CGI

    A CGI dwarf.

    Yet ANOTHER army.

    AND ANOTHER.

    CGI CGI CGI CGI CGI…