• The Wolf Man

    The Wolf Man

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    HOOP7.OBER - Part IV

    "That's what she said" - Larry Talbot

    Not as memorable or impactful as James Whale's Frankenstein or The Invisible Man, but also not nearly as insufferable as Tod Browning's Dracula. It's somewhere in the middle, though more to the Dracula side I'm afraid. There's a decent amount of atmosphere here and the actors do a fine job - Bela Lugosi is great in his limited amount of screen time - it's just painfully dated in places.…

  • Child's Play 2

    Child's Play 2

    β˜…β˜…Β½

    HOOP7.OBER - Part III

    About as standard of a sequel to Child's Play as you can imagine: Chucky conveniently gets his body fixed, Andy is traumatized and now at a foster home, Chucky wants revenge on Andy, can conveniently swap himself with another Good Guys doll for the foster parents, the foster parents think Andy is doing some fucked up things and don't suspect the doll, et cetera. Within the first 15 minutes, you know exactly where everything is going.…

  • Creepshow

    Creepshow

    β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    HOOP7.OBER - Part II

    I'll have to confess: I'm not the biggest fan of the works of George A. Romero. Night of the Living Dead is pretty damn boring, Dawn of the Dead has some bad editing and really isn't as clever as it thinks it is, Day of the Dead has some cringeworthy (over)acting, and I outright hated his The Crazies.

    Color me somewhat surprised then that I actually had a pretty good time with Creepshow. It gets delightfully…

  • The Birds

    The Birds

    β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    HOOP7.OBER - Part I

    Pretty creepy start to this year's Hooptober! Not exactly the greatest special effects, although I guess for 1963 they were pretty impressive. But Hitchcock still manages to absolutely nail the suspenseful moments when the film has to; they really elevate what is otherwise a somewhat mediocre Hitchcock effort. I don't care much for the characters, the first half is somewhat of an endurance test, some of the acting is spotty, and the romance is pretty blah.…

  • Kung Fu Panda

    Kung Fu Panda

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    I like when it goes whoosh whoosh whoosh and punch punch punch.

    I'm a man of simple pleasures.

  • Easy A

    Easy A

    β˜…β˜…Β½

    Mmmmmmmmehhh.

  • Tenet

    Tenet

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    70 mm screening

    For better or for worse: the most Christopher Nolan Christopher Nolan film ever made. Characters that are purely in service of the plot, complex world rules that you have to understand at least somewhat or you're completely lost, very "technical" and exposition heavy dialogue, and a touch of very basic human drama on top.

    The rules in the film are so complex that it makes Inception look like child's play. While this was a lot of fun…

  • Lifeforce

    Lifeforce

    β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    Hooptober appetizer

    Definitely one I want to rewatch every once in a while. Such a bonkers plot that results in the most epic zombie mayhem climax from the 1980s. Keep your Day of the Dead and The Return of the Living Dead; Lifeforce is where it's at.

    "They don't make movies like this anymore" applies to this 110 percent.

  • 1917

    1917

    β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    Technically absolutely brilliant, emotionally.....dead.

    Was it really necessary to have big names like Colin Firth and Benedict Cumberbatch in your movie if they have literally only three minutes or less of screen time each? I guess they had to put some names on the posters and in the trailers, but still.

    Also: still not sure if Tommen is a good actor.

  • Fifty Shades Freed

    Fifty Shades Freed

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    Fifty Shades of Thank God It's Over

    The real fucking irony is that this ends with a clipshow. A clipshow containing key moments from the other three movies. A clipshow that is supposed to show the """""journey""""" between these two """""characters""""", which shows their """""development""""", """""romance""""" and, most importantly, """""""chemistry""""""". All it REALLY does is show how D E V O I D of anything this trilogy is, because yep they really needed THREE 2 HOUR LONG MOVIES to tell…

  • Piranha

    Piranha

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    Hooptober appetizer

    Pretty decent Jaws cash-in from Joe Dante. The scenes where the piranhas attack look super cheap but work nonetheless and are fun. While it does start off slow and sort of weirdly fizzles out with a pretty dumb cliffhanger, it's a good time overall. Cheap, campy fun.

  • Fifty Shades Darker

    Fifty Shades Darker

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    You know, it is very appropriate that there is a masquerade ball in this, because Fifty Shades Darker is masquerading as a real movie.

    There's no plot. There is absolutely no plot. Anastasia is back with Christian within the first 10 minutes of the movie - Christian back at it again with his insane stalker actions, but Anastasia doesn't care - there is a former submissive that shows up, then Anastasia has a creepy encounter with her boss whose name…