The Lobster ½

Where to start... This is an extremely bad film. I like speculative fiction, I like film showing me a world that is an answer to a question "what if". But that world needs to be internally consistent. The best ones are those that don't explain the rules explicitly, but they can be absorbed naturally, intuitively even. All Mad Maxes are integral like that, for example, or the worlds of Miyazaki's films. On the other end of the spectrum we have all those now popular young adult dystopias - all the Hunger Games and Divergents and The Givers, where the worlds seem integral as long as you don't think about them too much and just take them at face value.
But this... It's not a good sign, when the people in a movie do things that leave me baffled and just asking "why?". It's a sign of something called Idiot Plot when characters - protagonists, villains - do stupid things for the sole reason of moving the plot forward. This film had me asking "why???" with increasing intensity some four times every minute.
Finally, I feel I'd accept this film better if it had taken place on another planet. Somewhere where the sky is red and ground is blue, and the characters are all green monsters with tentacles and three heads. Because seeing these... creatures that look like humans, but none of them, not a single person on screen ever for even a single second ACT like a human being, left me with such feel of alienation and dissonance that it was unbearable. As if I was watching a documentary about mantises or some other insect - interesting to see how they live, maybe, but completely unrelatable on an emotional level.
Just listen how these people-shaped creatures talk. I couldn't tell if it's just how they speak on that planet, or did all the poor actors (of which there are plenty, an good ones too) know too well what crap they are in and those lines just had such trouble roll out their tongues.
Half way through the film I realized where do I know this feeling and this style from: a Greek indie film from several years ago, "The Dogtooth". I checked, and indeed, it's by the same director. Only there it was just one family in one house shown. Here I am supposed to believe it's an entire civilization? No, just... no.
Avoid at all costs.