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  • Pettson and Findus: The Best Christmas Ever

    Pettson and Findus: The Best Christmas Ever

    ★★

    My daughter's first feature film in cinema (and I think her first live action one... save the CGI cat). Decided to go because it's still short enough (80 minutes) and based on a book we both know and like.

    Throughout the movie I had to remind myself that it's not a movie for me, it's for her. It wasn't that bad (though I did dozed off a little) - I've seen worse CGI in my life - but Polish dubbing…

  • Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    ★½

    With "Crimes of Grindelwald" Rowling just gave up pretending there are ANY rules in the Wizarding World. Both the rules of magic (the wizards seem to have a whole lot of new tricks up their sleeves, like walking inside walls, that if they were available in the original books, it would have made everything easier or different; also, how the hell does apparition work? What's its range?) and the rules of magical law (apparition again: how exactly is a travel…

  • Bohemian Rhapsody

    Bohemian Rhapsody

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I usually try my best to avoid any spoilers in my quasi-reviews here - if anything, I only post minor ones and hide them under rot-13 - but when it comes to a biopic of a person as legendary as Freddie Mercury I guess it kinda doesn't make sense. We all know that he died and what of, we all know of his unique range both in voice and life, and we all know Queen gave the best rock performance…

  • Kler

    Kler

    ★★

    After 2011's "Róża" I said loud and definitive NO to any future films of Wojtek Smarzowski. His first movie, "Wesele" ("The Wedding") destroyed me, but was enjoyable at times and had some glimmer of hope in the end. The second, "Dom Zły" ("Evil House") destroyed me, but it told a damn good and gripping story. Then "Róża" destroyed me just plain and simple, then kicked me in gonads, then jumped on my guts, then set them on fire, and gave…

  • Holy Motors

    Holy Motors

    ★★

    So, a guy wakes up in a bed shared with a dog. He's in a hotel next to an airport. He finds a doorknob socket in the wall and with a key attached to his finger he opens the door hidden in the wall. Through the corridor he enters a cinema where the audience is asleep/dead watching some very early film footage of naked kid running around. A naked kid actually walks down the aisle between the rows. Dogs follow…

  • Clouds of Sils Maria

    Clouds of Sils Maria

    ★★★

    "Birdman" meets "Persona". An aging actress (Juliette Binoche) confronts her early role, her need for artistic integrity, and also her personal assistant (surprisingly good Kristen Stewart). The actresses have an amazing chemistry on stage and their characters play off each other very well - it's a delight to watch them together.

    Unfortunately, much like "Birdman", this is also a movie which I liked but kill me if I know what it really was about or what it tried to say.…

  • Man with a Movie Camera

    Man with a Movie Camera

    ★★★★★

    Well, it's a masterpiece and a fundamental piece of movie history, what's more to say? Dziga Vertov (which is only a pseudonym, his real name was Dawid Kaufman and he was born in Białystok, Poland; the pseudonym in Ukrainian means "spinning top", with that in mind go watch Nolan's "Inception" once again now ;) invented or at least codified more in this one hour experimental piece than Leni Riefenstahl in all her propaganda pieces combined.

    Also, it plays great accompanied…

  • Kubo and the Two Strings

    Kubo and the Two Strings

    ★★★★

    In my spare time (that is, about once every six months or so) I dabble a little in working on my tabletop fantasy RPG system and world. Part of it is quite intricate magic system which allows to mix spells with art. Painting, music, dancing, performance - magic can be woven into whatever form of art. That notion is something generally very close to my heart also in our world, as I believe in our scentific, measurable reality art is…

  • Interstella 5555: The 5tory of the 5ecret 5tar 5ystem

    Interstella 5555: The 5tory of the 5ecret 5tar 5ystem

    ★★★½

    When I was in kindergarten, at the verge of 1990s, I had my first contact with foreign channels for children on the satellite TV. One of the things I remember watching - not understanding anything, since it was all in German - was an anime series "Queen Millenia", which I remembered having a mix of - I didn't understand it then, learned the lingo years later - superdeformed male characters with tiny black dots for eyes and tall and thin,…

  • Dick Tracy

    Dick Tracy

    ★★

    In the current deluge of comic book movies it's kinda hard to remember that a little over 10 years ago we rarely ever got a diamond like the Batmen from Nolan, tolerable Spidermen from Raimi or mostly acceptable X-Men. Mostly, though, we shouldn't have had expected anything above the abysmal level of your "Fantastic Fours", "Elektras" or "Green Lanterns". And the decade before that was even worse, with - again - "Batman" deteriorating right before our eyes from the gothic…

  • The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension

    The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension

    ★★★½

    A couple of days ago my wonderful wife surprised me by watching Avengers: Infinity War with me. She's not a fan of superhero movies and rarely ever watches that general type of colorful, bombastic spectacles. From the MCU she only watched Guardians of the Galaxy (because raccon) and Thor movies (because Thor). But she sat through the entirety of it (well, okay, she napped for about 20 minutes), quickly caught up on some more confusing parts of it ("Why is…

  • Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

    Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

    ★½

    Finally, to end up the Mission: Retrospective, a time came to revisit the predecessor to the exquisite last installment. With the amounts of fun brought to me by the last part and by revisiting parts 3 and 4 I sat to watch "Rogue Nation" with a fresh hope, against my memories of this movie from the one time I saw it in cinema these three years ago. "Maybe I had a bad day?" I thought. "Maybe from some new perspective…