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  • From Up on Poppy Hill

    From Up on Poppy Hill

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    No, high school kids cannot mobilise like that. It's not true. It's impossible. It can't happen. I refuse to believe it. You're wrong. It's fiction.

    (Features the most hilariously convenient third-act twist I have ever seen. Umi and Shun fall in love and then discover that they're siblings, subsequently spending the entire movie desperately trying to not fancy each other until they both go fuck it, let's go out anyway. And then THAT SAME NIGHT Umi finds out that they're not in fact related. Phew! Thank god for that amirite?! Absolute galaxy brain Goro.)

  • Black Narcissus

    Black Narcissus

    ★★★★

    All films should use giant matte paintings tbh.

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  • Neuromancer

    Neuromancer

    Oh yeah that's right just give one of the best science fiction novels ever written to the guy who made fucking DEADPOOL.

    Never thought I'd be praying for this movie to stay in development hell, yet here we are.

  • Unaired Abduction Interview

    Unaired Abduction Interview

    ★★★★

    This is the most 2006 thing I've ever seen in my life and I mean that as the highest of compliments. That a-m-a-z-i-n-g hyper-echoey & ultra-distorted audio quality gave me serious classic spooky internet mystery vibes, like the kind of thing you'd unearth scrolling youtube on your bed at 3AM six years after it was originally uploaded and it only has like 20 views and you can't get to sleep that night and keep having to tell yourself that it's obviously…