CJ Pro

I like cats, coffee, waffles, long walks on the beach, but not the bees. NOT THE BEES.

Favorite films

  • Moon Child
  • Demons
  • The Fly
  • The Lords of Salem

Recent activity

  • Saving Christmas Spirit


  • Haul Out the Holly


  • Christmas in Scotland


  • We Wish You a Married Christmas


Recent reviews

  • Saving Christmas Spirit

    Saving Christmas Spirit


    Christmas queen Ashley Newbrough stars as Dr Lucy Stewart, an archaeologist who, down on her luck and desperate to save her job, goes to the Scottish Highlands (just before Christmas) in search of some ancient books. There, she meets local distiller Duncan (James Robinson) who teaches her the true "spirit" (geddit?) of Christmas...

    Saving Christmas Spirit is fine, I guess. It does have a nice snowy(ish) Scottish setting and lots of festive decorations and Newbrough is always a treat but…

  • Haul Out the Holly

    Haul Out the Holly


    Horrendous Christmas film with Gretchen Wieners as Emily, a writer who dumps her boyfriend and gets kicked out of their apartment, forcing her to go home to her family home for Christmas. Unfortunately, for Reasons, her parents are going away to Florida, despite having spent several decades turning their street into a kind of Christmas Gulag where the "rules" of Christmas are strictly dictated and people who don't comply are given tickets and forfeits. No, really. I'm not making this…

Popular reviews

  • Lords of Chaos

    Lords of Chaos

    I have Thoughts. With a capital T. So this is going to be a long post. Sorry.

    I guess I should start by putting this into context because I suspect most people are probably going to find this film perfectly enjoyable and wonder why I'm being so joyless. I admit I'm basically the hurt fanboy of black metal. All those nerds moaning about Star Wars or Ghostbusters and ruined childhoods. That's me here, sure. I admit it. But I'm at…

  • Lust, Caution

    Lust, Caution


    I watch a lot of movies that feel so messy and out of control I just think "who is this for? Does even the director understand what they're doing?" and it's refreshing to feel, from the very start, that you're in the hands of someone who truly knows what they're doing. Lust, Caution is exquisitely made; not just in terms of its lavish production values but in every sense. It's cinema that knows just the right balance between opulent movie…