• The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

    The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

    ★★★½

    Nicolas Cage is my favorite actor. I’m loathe to admit it, but it’s true nonetheless. “Nicolas Cage is my favorite actor” is a sentence said by one of two kinds of people, either: average film goers who genuinely enjoy Cage’s mainstream work but aren’t familiar with his smaller, more auteur-driven filmography (“NORMIES”) or highly film-literate people who, with full knowledge of Cage’s critical decline, seek to feign sophistication by engaging in an ironic reclamation effort of a misunderstood artist (“FILM…

  • Paddington 2

    Paddington 2

    ★★★★½

    I hate it when you assholes are right.

  • Paddington

    Paddington

    ★★★★½

    "Dogs must be carried" is a perfect joke.

  • Problem Child

    Problem Child

    ★★½

    Yo. Was not prepared for, like, a PG-rated Takashi Miike movie. This shit is fucking bananas.

  • The Happening

    The Happening

    My official selection for Worst of All Time.

  • After Yang

    After Yang

    ★★★★

    While experiencing After Yang's depiction of our not-so-distant future, one of the easiest comparisons to make is to Spike Jonze's Her — a world where technology is invasive, but also gentle and humanistic. In Her, you have AI girlfriends and a company that manufactures written letters for those too detached to write one themselves. In After Yang, you have android older brothers and Dance Dance Revolution-style video games that encourage families to bond with one another after dinnertime. In both…

  • Drive My Car

    Drive My Car

    ★★★★★

    Beep, beep. Beep, beep. YEAH!

  • The Eyes of Tammy Faye
  • Free Guy

    Free Guy

    ★★

    Who would play this game?

  • Fresh

    Fresh

    ★★½

    In Mimi Cave’s directorial debut, a satire of the toxic culture of online dating, horror is not derived from excessive gore, but from creepy sterility. Our scary monster Steve — played by Sebastian Stan with frustrating competence — is a plastic surgeon whose delicate palette happens to include a taste for human flesh. Think of him as Millennial Hannibal Lector. Psychotic, certainly. But not nearly as menacing as the original. As Hannibal listens to Mozart, Steve listens to Radiohead. Hannibal’s…

  • The Batman

    The Batman

    ★★★★½

    I’m not that old, but I’m old enough to remember when Captain America: The Winter Soldier was billed as a Pakula-esque conspiracy thriller, when Logan was a neo-western mashup of Shane and Unforgiven, when Joker (executive produced by Martin Scorsese) was a shot-for-shot remake of King of Comedy by way of Taxi Driver, when Avengers: Infinity Wars was *checks notes* a Soderberghian heist film, with shades of 2 Days of the Valley AND Robert Altman’s Nashville. Spare me. This ain’t…

  • Kimi

    Kimi

    ★★★½

    Since James Cameron began toiling away in his submarine, waiting for science to invent a camera capable of shooting Avatar 2 in 5-D Pano-Smella-Atmos or some shit, Steven Soderbergh has churned out two iPhone movies, two seasons of TV, a couple original comedies and half a dozen adult thrillers that no other mainstream director has attempted since the seventies. It's confounding that, in an era when growing bigger seems to be the only means of surviving the movie business, one…