• Top Gun

    Top Gun


    Ok so but also uh.

    And all the jet footage looks like b roll

  • Inhibitions



    Boring as sin, but still, sin is sin.

  • Meet Cute

    Meet Cute


    The premise is not completely awful and the script is maybe even okay but what in sweet non-existent jesus was anyone involved in casting this film possibly freebasing

  • Vengeance



    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I heard folks say “it’s not what you expect from the trailer,” except it’s exactly what you expect from the trailer: Tired fish out of water tropes, tired Red v Blue tropes, tired hicks with a heart of gold tropes. Novak is talented and can’t help but write decent dialog, but casting himself as the lead and his costal friend as the antagonist shines a big bright Texas star on the faux-sincerity of it all.

  • Minions: The Rise of Gru

    Minions: The Rise of Gru


    This is a movie for kids and my kid enjoyed it end of review.

  • Ask Me If I Am Happy

    Ask Me If I Am Happy


    The plot itself hinges on a prosciutto-thin premise that is almost film-ruiningly implausible, but the electric rapport among the three leads and the rapid-fire quotables overcomes (most) qualms.

  • Three Men and a Leg

    Three Men and a Leg


    The Transilvani Leghisti scene is wayyyyy too still relevant to have been shot 25 years ago 🫣

  • Jennifer's Body

    Jennifer's Body


    I “get” it.

  • Turner & Hooch

    Turner & Hooch


    Mare Winningham doing Miracle Mile and then doing Turner & Effing Hooch not one year later is the original Punch-Drunk Love to Mr. Deeds pipeline.

  • Dark Glasses

    Dark Glasses


    A killer score and the mood is vintage Argento — and even Asia is tolerable in this one! But the rest of it is muddled, slapdash, aimless, and ultimately kind of really dumb with a rushed dead-end finale that feels so unfinished you can just imagine Dario going “vaffanculo, I’m done.”

  • The Monster Squad

    The Monster Squad


    Still can’t say I care for the casual homophobia but I watched it for the first time with the kid tonight and I gotta say, I definitely “got it” better this time around. Damn near welled up at the end.

  • Funny Pages

    Funny Pages


    I liked this a lot until I didn’t like it as much anymore. The greasy Daniel Clowes aesthetic is like a warm toilet bowl, but the narrative, which actually really delivers for a while comes apart in rather upsetting fashion towards the end. Several times it felt like it was going to say the thing it came here to say, but it just couldn’t commit to one punchline so it decided instead to just stop the joke in the middle.