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  • Fifty Shades Freed

    Fifty Shades Freed

    I experienced this movie the best way it can be: in a completely empty theatre at 3pm on a Thursday.

    I haven’t written a review this long so quick for a very long time. My god.

    The laziness of this film knows no end


    They for some reason couldn’t get Jamie Dormer to trim his beard for one of his scenes, even though it messes up the continuity. So, in an effort to make it work, they clumsily dub in…

  • Woody Woodpecker

    Woody Woodpecker

    ½

    I snort-laughed twice.

    The best part of the film is when the movie is over and they decided to just start playing an actual Woody Woodpecker cartoon. I laughed at it a ton more times than I did the actual film.

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  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★★★★★

    Jesus, this was therapeutic. Who would have thought that at the end of the year, my top two films would be so radically different?- 'Nocturnal Animals': a sort of tribute to nihilism, and this, 'La La Land': perhaps the most joyful film experience of the last decade. Strangely, both contain the theme of reality meeting fantasy in explosive fashion, yet each in extremely dissimilar ways.

    There was something distinctly unique about my screening, as I was watching the film up…

  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★★★★½

    The Unjustly Forced Dichotomy of 'Moonlight' and 'La La Land'
    (Not a Review, Just Something I Had to Write)


    Tonight, while writing this, I’ve just come home from my fourth time seeing 'La La Land' in theaters. And right now, 'Moonlight' is playing for me here in my living room— it’s my third time watching it. If someone were to ask me, right now, to decide a favorite between the two films, I would go with 'Moonlight'. That’s not to…